


you make my heart stutter (let’s get high together)

by sataninacape



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Henelope brotp, fake dating fic ish, hizzie!!!, hosie but not endgame, humor if you squint and have a very loose definition of humor, no merge bc i can’t handle angst, okay wait maybe not heLLa angst bc there is also fluff i swear, pyromaniac!Josie, stoner!Penelope, that said prepare for hella angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-11-28 07:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 28,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18205103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sataninacape/pseuds/sataninacape
Summary: in which josie is kind of an idiot and penelope is kind of a soft bitch™





	1. you don't even know me

Josie Saltzman is on a mission.

 

One that involves downing a shot or two (or three), flaking on her own birthday party, and making her way to a certain redhead’s dorm room.

  

Currently on the third step of her plan, Josie is standing in front of polished oak wood and triple checking the number on the door. She takes deep breaths, debating on how many times to knock.

  

A single knock or three in a row?

  

Josie is considering no knocks at all, but then she remembers why she’s here. To thank Hope Mikaelson for the thoughtful birthday present.

  

_(To make quiet things heard.)_

 

Ignoring the whispers of doubt that ring in her ears, the brunette introduces her knuckles to the door. Her heart stops for a few seconds and then the door swings open and a pretty girl dressed in a too-big sweatshirt and a pair of too-short sleep shorts is standing in front of her. Josie goes to open her mouth, to thank Hope for the present. Except the girl does not have red hair or a peppermint smile. She has messy, brown hair and a shit-eating smirk. 

 

“Oh, sorry.” Josie gives the shorter girl a wide-eyed once over. A book in one hand and a blunt in the other, Penelope Park looks attractive as ever. “I think I have the wrong room. I was looking for Hope.” 

 

Penelope clicks her tongue. “Actually, you just missed her.” 

  

Josie frowns and her gaze falls to the oversized “I heart New Orleans” sweatshirt adorning Penelope’s frame. It looks awfully similar to the one that Hope wears from time to time and Josie’s brain short circuits, jumping to the closest conclusion. 

 

“Oh. _Oh_. I didn’t realize you and Hope were- I thought that- I mean-”

  

Curious eyes shine with amusement. “Hope and I are roommates.” 

 

Josie internally face palms. This revelation makes much more sense than the assumption she came to. It also explains the bitchy banter and friendly smiles that the girls frequently exchange between classes. 

  

“I don’t think we’ve officially met. I’m Penelope Park. I started school here last year and I would shake your hand, but-” she gestures to her busy hands.

   

Of course, Josie knows exactly who Penelope Park is, but she pretends this is new information.

 

“Nice to meet you. I’m-”

 

Penelope waves her hand, the one holding a cigarette, in a _don’t bother_ motion, sending swirls of smoke spiraling in the air between them. “I know who you are.”  

  

Josie hesitates, waiting for her to continue. To say _“you’re the headmasters daughter”_ or _“you’re Lizzie’s twin_.”

   

Instead she says, “Josie Saltzman, right? We have Latin together.”

   

Josie is taken aback for a second. She’s so used to being defined by her relationship with others, so used to being introduced as Alaric’s daughter or Lizzie’s sister, that she often forgets there’s more to her than the people she’s related to. She thinks Penelope Park is the first person to remind her of that in a long time.

  

“Right, I think we do.” There’s a pause and Josie isn’t quite sure how to continue, but she knows she doesn’t want their conversation to end just yet. “How come you’re not at the party?”

 

“Not really one for extracurriculars.” Penelope quirks an eyebrow, “Although, I could ask you the same, considering it’s _your_ party.”

   

“I just slipped out to find Hope so I could thank her for her birthday present. I doubt anyone will notice that I’m gone.”

 

Penelope frowns at this, leaning against the doorframe and tilting her head ever so slightly.

   

“I would notice.” Her voice is soft, a little raspy, and Josie can’t help the way her heart stutters at the comment. They lock eyes and Josie swears the music from the party is a little duller and her world spins a lot slower. Josie blames this on the alcohol, because god forbid Penelope Park elicit any sort of involuntary, knees-weakening response from her body.

 

Eventually, the other girl breaks eye contact, clearing her throat. “I mean, who wouldn’t notice if the birthday girl wasn’t at her own birthday party?”

  

“When Lizzie Saltzman is the other birthday girl. That’s when people wouldn’t notice whether or not you’re at your own party.” Josie snaps her mouth shut, cringing at the malice in her own words. “Oh god, forget I said that. I swear it was just the vodka talking. I should go.” 

 

Josie turns on her heel, suddenly desperate to be back at a party where nobody bothers to look at her half as intently as Penelope Park does. But of course, she’s tipsy and uncoordinated, so it’s no surprise that her ankle gives out and her butt greets the ground. 

  

Penelope has the audacity to laugh. 

 

“Josie,” she manages between breaths, “are you okay?”

 

Josie groans, and doesn’t bother responding. After a few seconds, Penelope appears in front of her, hands outstretched. Josie complies, allowing Penelope to help her up. 

 

“You know,” the smirk on Penelope’s lips and lilt in her voice assure Josie that her cheeks are about to flush an even darker red, “I’ve had plenty of girls fall for me before, but none as quickly as you.”

  

“Get over yourself, Park,” Josie rolls her eyes, feigning indifference. Her blush tells a different story.

 

Josie realizes with a jolt that her hands are still entangled in Penelope’s and she takes a step back, ignoring the way her body protests at the lack of warmth.   

 

“I’ll get over myself the day you get under me, Saltzman.” 

 

It takes Josie a minute to comprehend the innuendo, courtesy her alcohol-ridden senses, and a half-scoff, half-squeak escapes her lips as soon as it clicks.

  

“Kidding,” Penelope assures Josie, her eyes at odds with her words. “Do you want to come inside? You should probably drink some water and have a bite to eat. Something tells me you’re a lightweight.” 

  

When Josie hesitates, Penelope continues, “I promise I won’t try to seduce you. That is, unless you want me to.”

   

Josie caves, following Penelope into her room. “Are you always so full of yourself?” 

 

The other girl hands Josie a bottle of water and a snack, then proceeds to take a seat on her bed, reaching for the forgotten blunt. Josie claims a spot on the floor between the two beds and observes the room. Hope’s side of the dorm is fairly empty, save for a picture or two of her family. Josie thinks of why that might be and her stomach churns with guilt. 

  

She redirects her gaze to Penelope’s side, which is organized chaos in all senses of the term. Her desk is littered with succulents and novels, all of which have worn-out spines and sticky notes sticking out from between the pages. The wall behind her desk is covered with polaroid pictures and random quotes and a few pieces of crayon-colored art, hardly any blank space peaking through. Penelope’s entire area is overflowing with personality, and yet, manages to maintain a dainty sort of ease. Josie thinks the same could be said for Penelope herself.

  

Josie counts the books on Penelope’s desk and she wonders how many times Penelope has read each one.

  

She wonders whether or not her plants have names, whether or not Penelope talks to them.

   

She wonders who each person in each picture is, what they mean to Penelope, whether or not she misses them.

  

Josie wonders if it's weird that she’s so curious about the holier-than-thou HWIC.

 

Regardless, the alcohol in her system urges Josie to abandon her senses and she opens her mouth to ask her questions, but Penelope is already halfway through a question of her own.

 

“Are you always so afraid of your feelings?”

  

Josie blanches. “What do you mean?”

   

Penelope raises an eyebrow and takes a drag from her cigarette, smoke curling out of her lips. Josie wrinkles her nose, waiting for the smell of pot to engulf her senses, but blinks twice when the smell of lavender greets her instead.

   

“And why on earth does your weed smell like a hand soap from Bath and Body Works?”

  

“Hope detests the smell of weed and I’m not sure if you’ve heard of it, but there’s this thing called-” Penelope looks left, then right, and leans forward, “ _magic_.”

  

There’s a giddy, childish even, glint in Penelope’s eyes as she recounts the incantation she placed on her blunt, and Josie can’t comprehend how _this_ is the very girl that wreaks havoc as a pass time.

 

“Anyway, nice try changing the subject. What I meant was, why do you feel the need to invalidate your opinion? Earlier, it sounded like you’re tired of always being overshadowed by Lizzie. If that’s how you feel, then maybe you should tell your sister instead of running from your own birthday party.”

   

Josie frowns. Her stomach churns.

   

“Happy birthday, by the way,” Penelope adds, as if to lighten the mood.

  

As if she didn’t just accuse Josie of running away from her feelings. 

  

Of being a coward. 

 

“We met five minutes ago,” Josie manages. “How do you feel so comfortable telling me about my relationship with my own sister? You don’t even know me.”

  

Josie is pissed, and the fact that Penelope doesn’t look intimidated in the slightest ticks her off all the more.

  

“You’re right, I don’t know you. But I do know that you have a big, fat crush on Hope Mikaelson, and that you’re afraid of telling her. I know you’re afraid of standing up for what you want. Of being who you are.”

 

Penelope has a look in her eyes that screams for Josie to challenge her, to tell her to stop talking. But Josie opens her mouth and closes it so many times, she thinks that maybe, just maybe, Penelope has a point.

 

“I may not know you, Josie Saltzman, but I know people like you. And I know that if you keep bottling up your feelings, they’re bound to spill over and set your world on fire at one point or another.”

 

She’s right. Penelope is right about everything she said, but she has no idea _why_ Josie acts the way she does. She has no idea about the guilt that Josie carries around every single day about a literal fire that did burn her world down.

 

The fire that forced Josie to be less selfish, that drove a wedge between the Saltzman sisters and Hope Mikaelson.

   

If only Penelope knew about the skeletons in her closet that came out to dance in her peripherals every time Lizzie had an episode or Hope flashed her a kind smile.

   

“You don’t know me,” Josie repeats, louder this time. She can’t tell if she’s trying to convince Penelope or herself, but either way, Josie stands up and shakes her head. “You have no idea who I am.”

 

“Maybe I don’t,” Penelope responds, a lazy smile lounging on her lips. “But I’d like to.”  

 

Josie scoffs. “Next time you want to get to know a girl, stick to small talk instead of bombarding her with an unsolicited therapy session.” She makes her way to the door, hand to the wall in case her legs choose to give out again. “And by the way, I’m sorry if I don’t go around shoving my opinions down other people’s throats like you do, but there’s this thing called restraint, and you should really try it some time. Maybe then you wouldn’t be so fucking _infuriating_.”

 

Penelope blinks and the weight of Josie’s breakdown settles thickly in lavender-scented air. Josie recoils immediately, certain she’s crossed a line, and she opens her mouth to apologize, but a gentle laugh spills out of plush lips and Josie is certain that the marijuana is getting to her head.

 

“What’s so funny?”

  

“Nothing,” Penelope’s pearly whites are still on display. “Just, you should curse more often. It’s really hot.”

  

“What- I- You-” Josie shakes her head, turns, and steps out the door. “God, I hate you.”  

 

She slams the door shut but a muffled voice rings out from behind her. “But JoJo, _you don’t even know me_ ”

 

* * *

 

Josie wakes up to parched lips, a killer headache, and a bumbling Lizzie.

 

“Wake up, Josette! I have news!”  

 

“Mmph.”  

 

“ _Josie_ , it’s almost noon! Also I kissedRaflastnightandIthinkhewantsmetobehisgirlfriend.” 

  

Somehow, Josie’s not-so-sober brain manages to decipher Lizzie’s jumbled words and she stirs from her slumber.

  

“Lizzie, that’s great! I’m really happy for you. When did this happen?”

 

“Right after you and I played that game of beer pong with Kaleb and Milton. I tried looking for you afterwards, but apparently you had more important things to attend to than our seventeenth birthday party.” Lizzie’s tone borders accusatory and Josie shrinks into her bed sheets.

 

“I’m sorry, I just wasn’t feeling well,” her sister doesn’t look too convinced, so Josie tries to steer the conversation in a different direction. “Must have been all those shots that M.G. made. Speaking of M.G....”

 

“What about him?” Lizzie’s eyes narrow and Josie snorts.  

 

“Come on, Liz, the guy has been pining after you for ages. And last I knew, you certainly weren’t opposed to his ‘boyish charm’ or whatever you called it.” 

 

Lizzie shrugs Josie’s implications off, shuffling to plant her feet on the floor. “I like Rafael.”

 

Josie senses a shift in Lizzie’s mood, so she maneuvers out of bed and stands to face her twin. “Okay. You’re allowed to like whoever you want, Lizzie.”

 

Lizzie’s shoulders relax and her eyes soften. “I love you, Jo. You know that, right?”  

 

Josie steps forward, open arms. “I know. I love you too, Lizzie.”

 

The blonde haired girl steps into her hug and Josie smiles. Moments like this make up for all the times that being around Lizzie is suffocating. 

 

Moments like this remind Josie of everything that’s at stake if her sister finds out about the truth behind the fire. Behind the rumors.

 

“Why do you smell so good? Is that the new perfume mom sent from Paris?” Josie tenses. 

 

_No, it’s Penelope Park’s magic marijuana_.

  

“No, it’s just this new lavender body wash.”

 

“Hm, I like it. It suits you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update: 
> 
> hello!! i realize several of you are just now finding this fic, so welcome :) 
> 
> here are some disclaimers: 
> 
> this is my first time writing fic & i'm still finding my footing writing something that isn't academic lol. 
> 
> the entirety of this fic is unedited bc i have commitment issues and i wanted to push this out before i lost interest in it, so i literally threw it together in the span of ten days during spring break :')
> 
> will be re-writing parts of the first few chapters as soon as i find the time, bc i truthfully cannot read them w/o cringing at times rip
> 
> anyhow!! carry on! i hope you enjoy & feel free to drop a comment if you'd like to hit me with some constructive criticism!


	2. keep telling yourself that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> josie is torn, penelope knows how to get what she wants, alaric is back on his bullshit, and hope just needs a friend.

Josie camps out in her dorm room for the remainder of her Sunday, reflecting on the previous night and trying to determine which of her memories are real and which ones are not.

 

The chain that hangs around her neck is confirmation that Josie didn’t dream up Hope’s present, and the lavender that clings to her skin is evidence that Penelope Park really is the unapologetic pothead that people claim she is.

 

Except Josie has no clue what to do with this information.

 

So naturally, when Monday dawns, Josie spends the entire period before Latin trying to figure out how to act around the aforementioned pothead.

 

On one hand, the other girl might not even remember, or care to rehash, last night’s events.

 

On the other hand, Penelope Park is notorious for, not just smoking, but also stirring the pot.

 

As it turns out, the latter is the case when it comes to Josie, who suddenly despises her professor for dismissing the class to the library to find books to report on.

 

“Josie Saltzman.”

 

Josie’s heart hiccups and she knocks a book off the shelf because Penelope freaking Park is standing in the aisle, hands to her hips, sly smile on her lips.

 

“Jesus Christ, Penelope, thanks for the heart attack. How on earth did you even do that? It’s like you appeared out of smoke.”

 

Penelope walks closer, bending over to pick the book up and placing it back on the shelf.

 

“ _Magic_ ,” she winks, further confirming Josie’s suspicion that the other night in her dorm was, in fact, very much a reality.

 

Josie takes a step back, folding her arms in front of her chest and giving the other girl a subtle once over. Penelope is dressed to the nines, as per usual.

 

The plaid skirt, plain white button-up, signature bow choker, and perfect curls are a far cry from the laid-back girl she encountered on Saturday, but the smug look on her face remains the same.

 

“What do you want, Penelope? Were you hoping to dissect my relationship with my father this time? Or did you just want to lecture me on how I care too much about the people in my life?”

 

Penelope hesitates, bad bitch facade wavering. “Sorry about that, I tend to be rather blunt when I get high. No pun intended.”

 

“Did you just… Am I still drunk? Since when does Penelope Park care enough to apologize?” Josie’s tone treads the waters between genuine skepticism and candid curiosity.

 

“Whatever, JoJo, don’t get too excited.” Hazel eyes glint with mischief, and Josie pretends not to notice how gently the nickname rolls off Penelope’s tongue.

 

(Or how naturally their banter bounces. Or how familiar Penelope’s presence feels. Or how steady her heart beats.)

 

Instead, Josie braces herself for whatever Penelope is about to say next. “I’m actually here with a proposition.”

 

There’s a pause and Josie spies a pair of witches from Penelope’s posse lingering in the background.

 

Maybe she should hear Penelope out but a small part of Josie, bold!Josie perhaps, screams for her to fuck it and just have a little fun. Something about Penelope Park makes Josie feel like it’s okay to give in to that voice every once in a while.

 

“Listen, Penelope, I’m flattered,” Josie makes sure to project her voice so that the already-eavesdropping girls can hear, “but no, I won’t have sex with y-”

 

Penelope brings a hand to Josie’s lips, muffling the remainder of her sentence.

 

“Are you crazy?” she hisses, turning left, then right. Penelope discovers the motive behind Josie’s act of bravery, and she drops her hand to gesture at her minions, dismissing them with a flick of her wrist. “You’re unhinged, Saltzman.”

 

Penelope’s words might have held more weight if her cheeks weren’t so red. The other girl is clearly flustered, and Josie thinks she understands the purpose of all her innuendos now. There’s something about making someone blush that sends chills up her spine. Or maybe there’s just something about making Penelope blush that sends chills up her spine. Either way, Josie decides that she quite likes it when the tables are flipped.  

 

“Anyway,” Penelope clears her throat, “I’m _not_ here to get you to have sex with me. As if I’d need to ambush you to do that anyway.”

 

It’s Josie’s turn to blush, and she breaks eye contact, tucking a stray hair behind her ear because, let’s be real, Penelope isn’t exactly wrong. The witch oozes of sex appeal, screams femme fatale, and, hell, probably has her own fan club.

 

Which is why Josie decides the other girl could use a bruise to her ego and puts up a front, dismissing her claim with a scoff. “Trust me Penelope, you’re not my type.”

 

“Oh, honey, I’m _everybody’s_ type.”

 

Again, she’s not wrong and Josie fumbles for a witty comeback. What the hell do you even say to someone so obnoxiously self-aware?

 

Apparently, not much, because Penelope continues swiftly. “But, as much as I would like it to be, this isn’t about me. This is about Hope Mikaelson.”

 

Josie’s cheeks light up, and she attempts to play it cool. “What about Hope?”

 

“Babe, you are _so_ not subtle. Here’s the deal: you like Hope,” Josie opens her mouth to protest, but Penelope continues, “And I’m going to help you win her over.”

 

There are a million and one ways Josie could respond. Denial, profanity, silence. Naturally, Josie neglects the aforementioned rational options and chooses to entertain Penelope instead.

 

“How?”

 

Penelope grins. All rosy cheeks and full lips. Josie can’t decide if she wants to kiss or smack the smug look off her face.

 

“We have sex.”

 

Josie chokes on her own spit and knocks another book off the shelf during her coughing fit.

 

Penelope picks the book up, once again, dusting the cover off and placing it back in its place.

 

“Relax, Jo Jo, I was just kidding. We’re not _actually_ going to have sex. We’re just going to make Hope think we are so she’ll notice you in that way. Call it fake dating, minus the grotesque plot holes.”

 

“I don’t- What-“

 

“Honestly, that whole trope is so overdone. Why would you even want to date someone who only goes for you when you’re in a relationship with someone, fake or not? The answer is, you don’t. Which is why I propose an alternative: fake fuck buddies. Enough commitment to make your crush jealous, not enough commitment for complications.”

 

Josie blinks. Once. Twice.

 

She has so many questions. The most formidable one being _why the fuck???_ Penelope Park is notorious for her grand schemes and bad intentions and Josie has a feeling this time is no different.

 

“What’s in it for you?”

 

Penelope pouts. “What makes you think I have to have an ulterior motive? Can’t I just do something out of the goodness of my heart?”

 

Josie rolls her eyes and it doesn’t take long for Penelope to cave.

 

“Okay, fine. You get the girl, and I get on your sister’s nerves. It’s a win-win.”

 

Josie’s heart trips because _of course_ this is about Lizzie. She can’t believe she was naive enough to think otherwise.

 

“You want to pretend we’re messing around just to piss off Lizzie? Are you kidding me, Penelope? I’m pretty sure _you’re_ the one that’s unhinged.”

 

Josie makes a move to sidestep the other girl but soft fingers wrap loosely around Josie’s wrist and she pauses mid step.

 

“Josie, wait.”

 

She looks down at where Penelope’s skin is setting hers on fire. Josie must stare too long because Penelope quickly drops her hand.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to touch you without your permission. Again.”

 

Josie wants to swoon because the fact that she cares about consent is kind of a turn on, but she also wants to groan because Penelope is making it so hard for Josie to hate her guts.

 

“Anyway, think about it like this. Who does Lizzie loathe almost as much as me?”

 

Josie’s chest seizes. She knows the answer to this question. She also knows the answer to why. (She also knows that she’s to blame for the why.)

 

“Hope Mikaelson,” Penelope deadpans. “My beloved roommates. The very girl you want to get with. So forget faking fuck buddies, say you and Hope happen on your own terms one day. How do you think Lizzie would react? She would probably shun you for falling for the enemy, right?”

 

Josie crosses her arms again. She hates that she’s still listening, but everything Penelope is saying actually checks out, so she might as well stick around to hear her out.

 

“Which is where my plan comes into play. It’s a fact that your sister hates my guts exponentially more so than Hope’s. So when Lizzie finds out that you and I are supposedly fucking around, she hates you for a minute, you tell her it’s purely physical, she still can’t stand us, so then when I break your heart and you get with Hope, Lizzie is actually relieved and she doesn’t hate you anymore. Like I said, you get the girl _and_ Lizzie’s approval, and I get to screw with your sister for a hot minute in between.”

 

Of all the things Penelope just said, Josie’s eyebrows only scrunch when Penelope mentions her fictional breaking of Josie’s heart and not the other way around. “Hey, how come you’re the one breaking it off and not me?”

 

“Please, JoJo, we both know my version is more realistic. Anyway, what could go wrong?”

 

Josie rolls her eyes at Penelope’s response but finds herself genuinely considering her proposition, and the more she thinks it over, the more it makes sense. After all, Hope is Penelope's roommate, so at the very least, Josie would have an excuse to be in her company more often. Still, Josie has read one too many Wattpad stories to know that Penelope’s question is often dubbed as famous last words.

 

“You could fall in love with me,” Josie replies. She’s half kidding and half recounting the plot of countless fake-dating fics.  

 

“Believe me, JoJo, that won’t be a problem.” Penelope’s words are meant to be light hearted, Josie can tell by the curve of her lips and humor in her eyes, but they sting in a way that Josie can’t describe. “So is that a yes?”

 

“It’s not a no.” Her words are half-hearted and Josie knows it’s only a matter of minutes before she caves.

 

“So… a yes?”

 

There’s a pause and Josie has a feeling she’s going to think back to this very moment countless times in the forthcoming months. Whether she’ll be cursing herself or thanking herself has yet to be determined.

 

“Fine.”

 

Penelope smirks. Josie has a feeling she’s used to getting what she wants.

 

“Perfect. Meet me in my room tonight. And maybe don’t show up drunk this time.”

 

Penelope turns, curls swinging side to side. Josie’s lips part and she hates that she feels the urge to prolong their conversation, but she gives in to it anyway.

 

“Only if you lose the marijuana.”

 

Josie cringes because she sounds like her father, and honestly, she doesn’t even mind Penelope’s smoking habits. Usually, Josie is the first to scrunch her nose and list the countless health concerns associated with cannabis consumption, underage consumption at that, but something about the way that Penelope’s eyelashes flutter when she takes a hit is permanently imprinted in Josie’s brain.

 

Josie winces again because fuck John Green for romanticizing cigarettes and fuck Penelope Park for looking so good smoking them.

 

Still, Josie momentarily excuses her embarrassment to revel in the dramatic head turn and tilted smile that the other girl flashes her. There’s a glint in her gaze, and Josie catches herself debating the color of Penelope’s eyes. She’s torn between green and hazel, but regardless, they’re something out of a Disney movie, and yet another bullet point to add to Josie’s list of All The Reasons Penelope Park Pisses Me Off.

 

Penelope’s voice rings out, tone just bordering conceited, and Josie nearly groans at her response.

 

“For my beloved fuck buddy? Anything.”

 

Josie rolls her eyes and directs her attention back to the bookshelf. “I still hate you.”

 

She wonders if she’s more so reminding herself than the other witch.

 

Penelope responds with a wink and a set of finger guns. "Keep telling yourself that."

 

When the clicking of heels fades away, Josie finally caves to the twitching of her lips because who knew Penelope Park was such a dork.

 

* * *

 

It’s eight o’clock, just after dinner, and Josie stands in front of Hope and Penelope’s dorm room, blinking at bronze numbers for the second time that week.

 

She’s questioning her life choices, considering walking away and just hiding out in her room for the rest of her existence, when the door creaks open.

 

Josie anticipates Disney princess eyes and a smooth one-liner. Instead, she’s greeted with a different pair of Disney princess eyes and a sputtered question.

 

“Josie? What are you doing here?”

 

_Hey Hope, just here to fuck your roommate who I’ve been sleeping with recently because I’m super horny and really gay and kind of dealing with some teenage angst. Did I mention I’m not straight? Because I’m, like, super into girls in case you couldn’t tell from all those times I’ve checked you out when you were sparring with my dad. Anyway, l’m not actually here to get with Penelope, we were just going to pretend to sleep together so I could make you jealous but it’s not like you’d ever like me in that way. Unless you do? In which case, I’m super single and have kind of had a crush on you for the past decade. Please date me._

 

“Hope. Hi. I was actually… just looking for Penelope.”

 

Josie has never had a hard time reading Hope, who, as much as she likes to think she isn’t, is terrible at masking her emotions. Right now, Hope’s eyebrows give away her surprise, and the squint of her eyes indicates something between confusion and suspicion.

 

“Penelope,” she repeats, shifting from one foot to the other. “You’re looking for Penelope? Is this about the other day in Dorian’s class when Lizzie had to write a spell up on the blackboard and Penelope hexed the chalk so that Lizzie could only draw dicks? Did she convince you to participate in some sort of revenge plot?”

 

“God, no. That was so not funny, by the way.”

 

Hope laughs, all shades of soft and sunny. “It was pretty funny.”

 

Josie can’t help the giggle that escapes her lips. “Okay, maybe just a little.”

 

They share a smile and Josie feels her heart rate pick up. In an attempt to calm her pounding heart, she shifts her gaze from blue eyes and pink lips to the floor between them. Josie spies a duffle bag dangling by Hope’s running shoes and she frowns.

 

“Are you headed somewhere?”

 

The humor drains from Hope’s aura and is replaced with an air of unease.

 

“Yeah, um, your Dad and I are actually headed out for a day or so to take care of some business. There’s this monster a few towns over that’s been causing quite the ruckus and we kind of have to get out there before people start getting too suspicious. You know how it is.”

 

“Oh.” Josie avoids her eyes, her heart stuttering for all the wrong reasons. Figures she’d have to hear about her Dad’s absence from Hope and not her father himself.

 

“Listen, I’m sure he just forgot to mention it. Your dad’s been really busy lately with-”

 

“Right,” Josie cuts her off. She really doesn’t need Hope to justify her father’s negligence. “It’s cool. Have fun on your trip. Tell him to at least call Lizzie so she doesn’t wait up for him to come say goodnight.” _Tell him to at least pretend he cares about his daughters_. _Tell him I’m tired of always being there for Lizzie because he isn’t. Tell him to stop burying himself in his work and drowning his sorrows in alcohol and caring about everyone but me and Lizzie._

 

“Will do.” Hope pauses and purses her lips. She opens her mouth, only to close it once again. She seems to decide against whatever she wanted to say, because the next thing Josie knows, Hope is flashing her a tired smile and maneuvering her way around the taller girl.   

 

“Hey, wait,” Josie calls after Hope, ignoring the voice in her head, that sounds an awful lot like Penelope Park, telling her to play it cool. “I never got to thank you for the birthday present. It's really pretty, and it means a lot, Hope.”

 

Hope’s eyes drop to the pendant resting against Josie’s knit sweater, and the thousand-watt smile that adorns her lips is enough to take Josie’s mind off her Dad’s headassery- even if it’s for just a minute.

 

“You don’t have to thank me, Josie. Of course I got you a birthday present.” Hope pauses, considering her next words. “That’s what friends do, right?”

  
Josie’s heart drops at that word. _Friends_. But there’s a look in Hope’s eyes, a knick in her armor that looks an awful lot like vulnerability and Josie thinks that maybe friendship isn’t so bad after all. Maybe what Hope really needs right now is a friend, not a relationship. Maybe Josie should set aside her feelings and just be that for Hope.

 

“Right,” Josie repeats. “Friends.”

 

Hope grins and Josie basks in the silence between them before Hope's phone buzzes and she shifts uncomfortably. “Your dad is waiting up. I should probably get going now. Good night, Josie.”

 

“Night, Hope. Come back in one piece, please.”

 

“As a tribrid, I’m offended you’d doubt my capabilities.”

 

“As your friend, I’m offended you don’t want me to worry about your well-being.”

 

Hope laughs. Josie smiles. “Alright, I promise I'll try not to die. See you later, Jo.”

 

“Bye, Hope.”

 

Hope turns and Josie glances at the door.

 

She doesn’t have to go in. Josie could just leave now, blow off Penelope, and spend her night counting the butterflies that flutter in her stomach after a short-lived conversation with the one and only Hope Mikaelson.

 

But Hope has yet to reach the end of the hallway and something in Josie urges her hand towards the doorknob. She reaches out and pushes the door open, a creak echoing down the hall. Josie senses blue eyes trailing her movement and it takes everything in her not to look Hope’s way.

 

Josie steps forward and lets the door shut behind her.

   
The smell of lavender engulfs her senses and her heart stutters because she _hates_ it.

 

Josie fucking hates that stepping into Penelope Park’s dorm room feels so much like coming home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again! it's past midnight and i'm running a fever, but someone's gotta do the lord's work and feed the posie warriors during this drought so here we are. 
> 
> on the real, sorry about the overwhelming amount of hosie towards the end there! ik some of y'all didn't sign up for this, but i assure you, there is much more posie to come. also, to any hosies out there, i see you and i respect you, but you might wanna jump ships or switch fics bc you lot are in for disappointment if you stick with this fic lol.
> 
> hit me with your thoughts on the posie, hosie interactions though! i'd really like to stay true to the characters, so please lmk if anything feels a little far-fetched. also, i have a pretty good idea of where i want to go with the plot, but feel free to comment any suggestions of how you see this playing out/ scenes you'd like to see. 
> 
> anyway, hope you all have a good day :)
> 
> update: you can find me on twitter @ sataninacape in case you wanna yell at me or with me!


	3. sure, jan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> josie is in denial, penelope has layers, and lizzie deserves better.

Penelope’s legs dangle off the edge of her bed and the girl looks as drained as Josie feels.

 

Her eyes doesn’t stray from the book in front of her when she addresses Josie. “So what’s it like?”

 

“What’s what like?”

 

“The friend zone?”

 

Josie rolls her eyes, because of course Penelope was listening, and of course she took the opportunity to tease Josie about it.

 

Still, there’s something missing in Penelope’s tone, and Josie can’t help but pick up on the way the other girl’s shoulders are slumped and her eyes are bloodshot.

 

She wonders for the first time if her humor and her weed are coping mechanisms and Penelope Park is just as damaged as the rest of them.

 

“It’s gorgeous. There’s mountains and beaches and everything.”

 

Even Penelope’s laugh sounds different. Not exactly forced, but definitely diluted.

 

 _Are you okay?_ The question threatens to tip over Josie’s tongue, but she refrains from overstepping. After all, it’s not like they’re friends or anything. Just fake fuck buddies, or whatever Penelope wants to call it.

 

She settles for, “I thought you agreed to the No Pot rule.”

 

Penelope lowers the blunt from her lips. “Sorry. Slipped my mind.”

 

Josie doubts that, but she decides not to push it.

 

She shuffles forwards, hesitating at the edge of Penelope’s bed. Josie only settles on grey bed sheets when Penelope shifts and gestures for Josie to sit.

 

Josie rests her back against the wall and she closes her eyes. The duffle bag in Hope’s hand flashes in her head and her brain short circuits and she’s angry at her Dad all over again.

 

She’s frustrated, and guilty for feeling frustrated, but mostly just pissed off at her father for prioritizing his work over his family, and constantly leaving his seventeen year old daughters to fend for themselves. Josie breathes in, then out, and she opens her eyes.

 

Her gaze falls on the blunt in Penelope’s hand and the words escape her mouth before she can think twice. “Can I?”

 

Penelope recoils.“You want a hit? As in, you want to get high? Josie Saltzman trying marijuana for the first time? Can pigs suddenly fly as well?”

 

Josie rolls her eyes. “Okay, take it down a notch, Park. What makes you think I haven’t tried pot before?”

 

Penelope gasps this time, making an exaggerated face that looks an awful lot like a Shrek reaction picture that often circulates around [Twitter](https://twitter.com/pothothoe/status/1107028956740386816), and Penelope’s shoulders seem to relax, her smile a little more genuine. Josie swears the color is returning to her aura and maybe, just maybe, Josie’s heart swells a little at the thought of her being the reason as to why.

 

“Josette Saltzman, my word, what are you implying?”

 

Josie laughs, and she knocks her shoulder against Penelope’s without considering the fact that her heart might hiccup at the feeling of soft skin against hers. Not that it actually skips a beat or seven. It totally doesn’t. Josie’s totally fine and totally not flustered at all, whatsoever.

 

“All I’m saying is M.G. may not be the Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes that everyone makes him out to be, and I might not be entirely immune to bad influences.”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

Josie plucks the cigarette from Penelope’s fingers, taking note of all the dainty rings that shine back at her. “Yeah.”

 

Josie brings the blunt up to her lips and she inhales, slow and steady.

 

And then she doubles over in a choking fit and Penelope’s hand is rubbing circles on her back, vibrating with laughter of her own.

 

“Damn it, Jo, you were this close to being smooth.”

 

Josie responds with a few coughs and she struggles to fight the heat that’s creeping up her neck. The heat that has to do with her embarrassment and absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Penelope’s hand is still resting on her back. Zero, zilch, nada to do with Penelope’s pinky skirting the strip of skin that her cropped sweater so kindly chose to expose.

 

She clears her throat, because it’s dry and not because she doesn’t trust herself to speak with Penelope’s fingers unknowingly tracing shapes on her back, and explains her reaction. “Okay, alright, I’ve only ever tried edibles before. I guess smoking pot isn’t the same thing as eating a piece of chocolate.”

 

Penelope leans over to her night stand and grabs an unopened bottle of water, wordlessly handing it to Josie and swapping it for the blunt in her hand. “You’re such a dork.”

 

Josie huffs. “That’s rich coming from the girl who uses finger guns as a means of communication and has a wall full of Crayola stick figures and literal finger paintings.”

 

And just like that Penelope’s hand drops and her mood darkens.

 

“I’m sorry,” Josie apologizes immediately. It’s a force of habit at this point, practically second nature to blame herself for a change in someone else’s mood. Usually, she’s not at fault, but in this case, Josie thinks she must have said the wrong thing for Penelope to suddenly withdraw like that. “I didn’t-”

 

“It’s fine, Josie. You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t have to apologize.” And then, as if to offer an explanation, or maybe just to run her fingers over the paper, Penelope untacks a drawing from the wall and places it on Josie’s lap.

 

“My little brother drew that for me. He thinks I look like a turtle when I smile.”

 

Josie traces the green colored pencil and smiles at the intricate doodle and scrawled handwriting.

 

 _Turtle Penny,_  the caption read. There's a little heart in the corner and Josie squints at the signature to its right. _Parker_.

 

Parker Park. Josie refrains from making any jokes because Penelope is looking fondly at the paper in her hands and Josie would hate to pop her bubble of serenity.

 

“He’s not wrong,” Josie hums before adding a soft “ _Penny_.”

 

“Great,” Penelope groans, “Also, call me that one more time and I won’t hesitate to hex you into Turtle JoJo.”

 

“What’s wrong with looking like a turtle? I like turtles. They’re cute,” Josie swears the marijuana is making her see things because it looks like Penelope Park is actually blushing. “And how come you get to call me JoJo if I can’t call you Penny? It’s only fair.”

 

“Sorry, kid, Penny’s taken. If you want to come up with a different nickname, knock yourself out.”

 

“Nelly?”

 

“Do I look like a fucking rapper to you?”

 

Josie snorts. “How about Pepe?”

 

“Please tell me that’s a joke.”

 

“Pen?”

 

“What am I, a writing utensil?”

 

“Penis?”

 

Penelope looks at Josie, eyes wide and eyebrows high. Josie bursts out in laughter and Penelope is quick to follow.

 

“On second thought, Pen is fine.”

 

They sit there in silence for a second, high on endorphins and pot. It’s everything Josie never knew she needed.

 

Then, Penelope reaches for the drawing and stares at it for a minute before pinning it back up to the wall.

 

Josie feels like she should say something. So she does.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She hopes her tone is less curious than she feels.

 

“Not really.” There’s a pause. “Let’s just say you’re not the only one with absentee parents and disappointed siblings.” Another pause and Josie lets her words sink in. She wonders what exactly Penelope means. She doesn’t think it’s her place to push for answers.

 

“Do _you_ want to talk about it? I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard you outside with Hope earlier.”

 

Josie hesitates. _Does_ she want to talk about it? What even is there to talk about? Her Dad’s behavior is nothing new and it’s not like Josie has needed to talk about it before, not with Lizzie, and not even with Emma.

 

But there’s something about the way Penelope Park is looking at her, guard down and no expectations.

 

Josie’s lips part and suddenly her conscious spills out in the form of word vomit. She would like to blame it on the marijuana, but Josie knows her honesty has nothing to do with the weed. Penelope’s presence alone is intoxicating enough for Josie to confess all her secrets and admit all her sins.

 

This girl has her all flavors of fucked over.

 

“I’m just tired,” Josie whispers. “Of my Dad always bailing. Of my Mom’s work trips to Europe, and barely being around. Of Lizzie, too. I love her to death, honestly, but sometimes, I don’t know how to act around her. This is going to sound weird, because I literally see her every single day, but sometimes I really miss her. I just… I feel like I can’t breathe when I’m around her.” _Not the same way I can breathe around you, anyway._

 

Penelope is quiet, taking the opportunity to observe Josie. She waits a minute before responding, gives Josie time to finish confessing, but Josie is done talking. She feels like she’s said too much already. It’s like a weight has been lifted off her chest, but it’s been replaced with something heavier. Something akin to guilt.

 

“That sucks,” Penelope starts, and Josie almost laughs at the lack of eloquence in her response, but Penelope makes up for it as she keeps talking. “And I know what you mean about missing someone who’s right next to you. I feel that way around Parker whenever I go home during break. I mean, he’s _right there,_ but it’s like I’m so used to being away from him and I’m so tired of leaving him that I can’t help but feel like he’s already gone. I know it’s not that same as you and Lizzie, but I just want you to know that you’re not alone, Josie.”

 

Josie notices that Penelope doesn’t mention feeling that way about her parents. She notices the way that Penelope’s eyes lose their light and for the first time maybe ever, Josie sees beyond Penelope’s facade. Josie sees a timid teenage girl.

 

And then Josie feels Penelope’s hand on her knee and her breath hitches all over again.

 

“Sorry,” Penelope pulls away when she trails Josie’s eyes to her touch.

 

“Stop apologizing, Penelope.”

 

“It’s just that M.G. did this whole PowerPoint presentation the other month during class about consent and that boy really got in my head. I can’t even pet Emma’s therapy dog without waiting for him to lick me first.”

 

Josie giggles. “Well you don’t have to wait for me to lick you first.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Penelope wiggles her eyebrows and Josie flushes red.

 

“Get your mind out of the gutter. I just meant that you have my consent to touch me whenever.”

 

“Yeah?” It’s softer this time. No innuendo, just curiosity.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Josie looks down and she watches Penelope’s hand find its way back to her knee. Her heart flutters and Josie wonders how Penelope’s fingers would feel in her(s).

 

She settles for just resting her hand on top of Penelope’s.

 

Penelope smiles at her and Josie thinks she might melt, right then and there. And then Penelope’s eyebrows furrow and she has her thinking face on again.

 

“Have you thought about telling them how you feel? Your family, I mean.”

 

Has Josie thought about it? Yes. Will Josie actually tell her parents she feels like they keep abandoning her, and tell her sister how inadequate she feels in her company? Probably not.

 

She opens her mouth to tell Penelope this but her stomach lurches and her heart drops and Josie can’t breathe.

 

“Josie, what’s wrong? What’s happening?”

 

Josie has a hand to her chest and she takes a deep breath. _Twin pains_.

 

“Nothing. I have to leave. Lizzie needs me.”

 

Josie stands, and it takes everything in her to ignore Penelope’s burning gaze and unanswered questions.

 

Her head spins a little and Penelope is on her feet in seconds, offering her an arm for stability. “Josie, you’re _high_. Whatever Lizzie needs can probably wait until you’re sober enough to think straight, much less walk straight.”

 

“I’m fine. Honestly, Pen.”

 

Josie turns but Penelope’s hand wraps around her wrist. It’s soft, gentle, like every other thing about Penelope Park, apparently.

 

“Wait, Josie, if it’s something I said-“

 

“It’s not. I promise. I just have to be there for Lizzie right now.”

 

“Okay.” Penelope removes her hand. Josie resists the urge to reach out for it.

 

She turns, convincing herself that the pounding in her heart has everything to do with Lizzie’s meltdown and nothing at all to do with Penelope’s green eyes. Hazel eyes. Fucking Disney princess eyes, whatever.

 

“Wait,” Penelope calls again. Josie pauses. “You have something in your hair.”

 

Penelope pulls a seashell out of thin air and Josie blanches, because _what the hell does Penelope Park put in her weed??_ , but then Josie remembers they’re literal witches.

 

“Must be from your trip to the Friend Zone.”

 

It takes a second for Josie to comprehend the joke, but when she does, an honest laugh bubbles from her mouth.

 

“Oh my god, Penelope, I hate you.”

 

Disney eyes glint golden and Penelope stretches out her hand, the seashell in her palm.

 

“Sure, Jan.”

 

Josie plucks the seashell from her hand and holds it to her chest.

 

She turns towards the door.

 

“Goodnight, Josie.”

 

“Goodnight,” Josie hesitates, unable to suppress the small smile that forms on her lips. “Penis.”

 

Josie steps into the hall and shuts the door, but not before she spies rosy cheeks and a turtle smile.

 

* * *

 

By the time Josie makes it back to her dorm room, there’s broken glass on the floor, papers everywhere.

 

Lizzie is sitting on her bed, head in her hands.

 

Josie whispers a spell to tidy their room, and she hurries forward, planting herself next to Lizzie. She can sense that Lizzie has passed the violent phase and is on to the emotional phase, so Josie rests her head against Lizzie’s and just offers her a shoulder to cry on.

 

“I’m guessing Dad called,” Josie sighs, stroking Lizzie’s hair.

 

Her sister is silent for a moment, just heaving breaths and blinking hard. Josie’s heart aches and tears of her own threaten to spill over because she hates seeing Lizzie so broken like this.

 

When Lizzie speaks, her voice wavers.

 

“I hate her, Josie. I fucking _hate_ Hope Mikaelson. First, she has the audacity to tell people I’m- I’m witch bipolar. And then she _steals our dad._ I can’t do this anymore, Jo. _I_ _hate her_.”

 

There’s venom on her lips, resentment in her eyes, and Josie hurts a little more inside.

 

_Hope didn’t tell anyone you’re bipolar. I made that up so you would hate her. So you wouldn’t steal the one person I couldn’t bear seeing you with. And it’s not her fault our Dad doesn’t know how to act like a father to his daughters. Stop blaming Hope. You don’t hate her, you hate Dad. You hate me._

 

The confession is tearing at her throat, screaming to see the light of day.

 

Josie ignores it because she can’t handle blowing up the one relationship that’s always been a constant in her life.

 

“I know, Liz. I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!
> 
> how do y'all feel about penelope having siblings & an actual backstory ? i know her character is a literal plot device on the show bc she's only there to play osie's love interest, but penelope park has so much frickin potential !! i'd like to explore her family dynamics in this fic bc i imagine people are a product of their environment and the way she acts and the things she does must have a lot to do with how she was raised. 
> 
> anyway, you can talk to me on twitter @ sataninacape! drop a comment to let me know what i'm doing well and where i can improve :)


	4. we hate her, remember?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steaming hot shower scene ;)

The next morning, Josie wakes up with a stiff neck, cotton-mouth, and memory gaps.

 

Josie wants to groan, but Lizzie’s arms are tangled around her torso and her sister is still sound asleep, so she opts for a quiet escape.

 

Josie checks her phone, and of course, her body chose to wake her at the utmost ungodly hour of 5 o’clock. She could just retreat to her own bed, but the smell of Penelope’s magic marijuana still stains her skin, so instead, Josie gathers her outfit and a towel before heading towards the showers.

 

She tiptoes down the hall, even though she doubts any of the students would be willingly awake right now, and makes her way to the girls’ locker room. To her surprise, one of the showers is currently occupied, and some 90s pop song floats from a phone speaker in the stall, a voice humming along. A part of her swears the rasp belongs to Penelope Park, but Josie dismisses the thought as a side-effect of last night’s pot.

 

The other girl quits singing as soon as Josie makes herself known by turning the shower dial and relieving her tensions with blissful heat. A few minutes later, an NSYNC number starts playing and Josie can’t help the lyrics from tumbling out of her lips. It’s not long before the other voice joins her and Josie thinks 5 a.m. isn’t so bad after all.

 

A couple of songs and a hot shower later, Josie exits the stall and, of course, Disney eyes meet her own through the mirror.

 

Go figure Penelope, head-witch-in-charge, Park likes to sing in the shower. And to NSYNC and Boyz II Men at that.

 

“Morning, JoJo. Didn’t know you could sing like that.”

 

Josie ignores her compliment and avoids glancing down because Penelope is wearing just a towel and Josie isn’t too sure how she feels about that.

 

“Morning. Didn’t know you were stalking me.”

 

“Funny you say that, considering I was here first.”

 

Penelope’s lips are tilted in that smirk she wears when she knows she’s holding the winning hand and any traces of the tired girl from last night are gone. Josie isn’t too sure how she feels about that either.

 

Josie hums. “Couldn’t sleep thanks to you.”

 

Penelope raises an eyebrow.

 

“Thanks to your pot, I mean.” Josie hastily corrects. “How come you’re up so early?”

 

“Early bird catches the worm. Anyway, Hope got in an hour or so ago, and she isn’t exactly the quietest roommate.”

 

Josie’s heart twitches at the sound of Hope’s name. Or maybe Josie’s heart twitches at the rasp in Penelope’s voice. Fuck. Josie isn’t too sure about anything, apparently.

 

She opens her mouth to respond but Penelope isn’t finished talking.

 

“How’s Lizzie?”

 

Josie is so baffled at the question, at the lack of sarcasm, she almost drops the comb in her hand.

 

“Since when do you care?”

 

Penelope shrugs. “Contrary to popular belief, I’m not always an obnoxious, selfish, evil bitch.”

 

There’s humor in her tone, but something more in her eyes and Josie wouldn’t read into it but her heart drops because those are the exact words she’s used to describe Penelope in her diary.

 

Obnoxious after the other day, when Penelope cornered her in the library.

 

Selfish when Penelope ran for witch representative just to spite her sister.

 

Evil after that time in Dorian’s classroom when Penelope hexed Lizzie’s chalk.

 

It’s probably just a coincidence. It must be right? It’s not like Penelope is sneaking into her room and reading her diary after dark. Josie’s just being paranoid.

 

“She’s fine.”

 

“That’s good.” Penelope’s phone dings and she looks down, quick to respond. When Penelope meets Josie’s eyes again, her face is alight with mischief. “You’re still down with the plan, right?”

 

Josie’s mind is blank for a second and she wonders _what plan?_ And then she remembers the whole reason her and Penelope Park are even acknowledging each other’s presence to begin with.

 

“Right.”

 

“Great.”

 

Penelope turns, stepping back into the shower that she just exited, and tugs Josie in with her.

 

The air between them is heavy with residual steam from the hot water and rife with confusion, at least on Josie’s behalf.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

“We’re having shower sex.”

 

Josie’s cheeks burn. Only because it’s hot in the shower, and not at all because her eyes are wandering over Penelope’s golden skin and pink lips.

 

“Or at least, we’re faking it. Hope should be here any minute, so this is the perfect opportunity to implement Phase One of Operation: Get Josie a Girlfriend.” She hums a little a theme song and Josie tries to place it.

 

“Sounds like someone’s been watching a little too much C.S.I.”

 

“Inspector Gadget, actually.”

 

Penelope flashes her puppy eyes and a pouty smile and Josie rolls her eyes because she honestly can’t tell if Penelope is kidding or not. That girl is everything Josie never expected.

 

The door creaks and Penelope shoots her a wink before letting out an exaggerated moan that has Josie all shades of flustered. She hears footsteps and then Penelope is gesturing for her to exit the stall and Josie complies, praying it’s actually Hope out there, and not some innocent child that Penelope just scandalized for life.

 

It’s Hope alright. Obviously exhausted and a little confused even, but Hope Mikaelson, nonetheless.

 

“Josie?”

 

“Hey, Hope.”

 

“How come you’re-”

 

Penelope clearly wastes no time in subtleties because she chooses that moment to exit the shower that Hope watched her step out of only seconds earlier.

 

“ _Penelope_?”

 

“Mikaelson. Here’s the conditioner you asked to borrow,” Penelope hands Hope the bottle, but her eyes are trained on Josie.

 

The shorter girl takes a step towards her and Josie thinks she might actually combust when Penelope leans up and plants a gentle kiss to her cheek. Her lips linger for a second longer than they need to, and then Penelope takes a step back.

 

“Later, Jo.”

 

Hope and Josie both watch as Penelope gathers her belongings and swiftly slips out the exit. Josie’s skin burns where Penelope kissed her and Josie doesn’t realize her hand is cupping her cheek until Hope clears her throat.

 

“So you and Penelope, huh? When did that happen?”

 

Josie avoids eye contact, busying herself with the tedious task of untangling her hair. “Um, it’s nothing. We’re just friends.”

 

“Friends who shower together?”

 

Hope sounds mostly skeptical, but if Josie had listened a little closer, she might have picked up on something more in her voice.

 

But Josie is not listening closely. In fact, she’s not listening at all, because her heart is still racing and all she can think about is Penelope Park’s lips on her skin.

 

“Hm. Yeah.”

 

Hope responds and Josie tears her eyes from the door that has yet to fully shut from Penelope’s escape.

 

“Sorry, what?”

 

“I said, just be careful.”

 

“Don’t worry, I’m fully aware of Penelope’s reputation. Besides, it’s nothing serious.”

 

Hope shakes her head, and for the first time in all the years that Josie has known her, her expression is unreadable.

 

“I meant to be careful _with_ her, Josie. Not to be careful of her.”

 

With that, Hope turns and Josie is left standing there alone, absolutely convinced she’s still high.

 

* * *

 

A few hours later, Josie is sitting in the dining hall when Lizzie drops her tray in front of Josie with a thump and she claims her usual seat with a dramatic sigh.

 

“I ran into Hope this morning.”

 

_That makes two of us._

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Mmhm.”

 

Josie waits for the cursing to ensue, for Lizzie to detail every which way she resents Hope.

 

When Lizzie remains silent, Josie looks up from her food and she finds her sister staring pensively at her glass of milk.

 

“What happened?”

 

Lizzie doesn’t respond right away.

 

“She apologized.”

 

Blue eyes greet brown and Josie is dumbfounded at the soft octave of Lizzie’s voice. She had no idea her sister could sound anything but enraged when talking about Hope Mikaelson.

 

Then Lizzie blinks and her face reverts to a bored expression.

 

“She said she was sorry for enabling Daddy or whatever. Anyway, it’s not like it matters. That girl is still the bane of my existence.”

 

A pause, and then Lizzie says, “I mean, who even spreads rumors about people’s mental illnesses? That’s just sick.”

 

But Josie hears, “ _I mean, who even makes up fictional rumors about her sister’s mental illness to make their sister hate their crush? That’s just sick_.” Her stomach twists.

 

“I’m sorry,” Josie blurts out.

 

“For what?”

 

_Have you thought about telling them how you feel?_

 

Penelope’s words from last night echo in her head and Josie should just fuck it and come clean.

 

But Lizzie is staring at her with knit brows and a frown on her lips and Josie just can’t. She can’t be the one to break her sister’s heart.

 

“Just about last night. I should have been there when Dad called. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you sooner.”

 

The crease fades and Lizzie shrugs. “It’s fine, Jo.”

 

And then Lizzie must remember something because her eyebrows scrunch together again, even tighter than before.

 

“Were you at Hope’s last night? She mentioned running into you. Something about Penelope Park.”

 

Lizzie’s voice is strained towards the end of her sentence and Josie notices the way her grip on the glass of milk tightens and Josie almost shoots out of her seat to hide in her Dad’s office.

 

Instead, she maintains a neutral expression and formulates a lie because no way in hell is she telling Lizzie about their supposed fucking around this early in the game.

 

“Yeah, Dorian asked me to run her something from the office. A letter from her parents or whatever.”

 

Josie hates it. She hates that she’s so comfortable lying to her own sister, and that she’s so good at it too, because Lizzie’s expression immediately relaxes and her grip loosens.

 

Just for good measure, Josie continues. “You have nothing to worry about, Lizzie. We hate her, remember?”

 

When Lizzie sighs, Josie’s heart drops and she wonders when exactly that statement became a lie too.

 

And then Josie’s heart drops some more because she chooses that moment to look to her left and Penelope is standing two feet away, her expression absolutely stoic.

 

Josie opens her mouth and then closes it because she has no clue what to say.

 

Penelope straightens, tilts her head a little higher, and then walks away.

 

Josie lets her leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cut this chapter short just bc i i felt like leaving y'all with some angst and a 1x14 parallel :') lol fuck sorry don't hate me
> 
> anyway! thoughts on the posie/hosie/henelope/hizzie in this chap? drop a comment and let me know!
> 
> find me on twitter @ sataninacape and slide into those dms if you wanna rant or send me memes ;)


	5. i don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> newton's third law. that is all.

Three days later, Josie is bouncing her pencil on her desk and staring at the back of Penelope Park’s head.

 

They haven’t spoken since the other day in the dining hall, and Josie can’t shake that feeling of guilt that’s screaming at her to apologize, but what did she even do wrong? Josie has told Penelope plenty of times that she hates her to her face, and it’s not like the other girl has minded before.

 

Something feels different this time, though. Maybe it’s the fact that Josie said it about Penelope and not to her, or maybe it’s the fact that Josie said it at all after kind of sort of actually getting to know her, but Josie has a feeling that if she doesn’t do something about it now, she might not get the chance to fix it ever.

 

So after class, she hurries to gather her books and trail after Penelope, who saunters through the hall with her personal Gretchen Wieners and Karen Smiths flanking either side. Josie lingers for a few minutes, hoping Penelope’s disciples will leave her at one point or another, and just when she moves to take her shot, Lizzie intercepts her.

 

“ _Josie_ , I’ve been looking everywhere for you. There’s a party at the old mill tonight and I need help picking out an outfit.”

 

 _Not now, Lizzie, I’m busy_. The words are on the tip of her tongue. Josie takes a breath and parts her lips, but out of the corner of her eye, she spies Penelope sharing a laugh with Jed the Alpha and fuck, she doesn’t even know why she’s bothering.

 

“Sure. I’ll meet you back in our room after dinner?”

 

Lizzie flashes her a dimpled smile. “Perfect.”

 

And then her sister is gone and so is her shot at making things right with Penelope Park.

 

* * *

 

“You look great,” Josie tells her sister, genuinely. “Rafael’s lucky to have you by his side tonight.”

 

Lizzie snorts. “Raf? You think I’m going to the party with Team Jacob tonight? In his doggy dreams, Josette.”

 

Josie tilts her head. “Wait, what? I thought you liked Rafael?”

 

Lizzie clicks her tongue, meeting her eyes through the mirror. “Sure, like a week ago. But he’s old news now.”

 

“How come?”

 

Her sister shrugs. “I guess he’s not my type after all.”

 

Josie sighs and doesn’t even pretend to understand the other girl’s change of heart.

 

“Alright, Liz, you do you.”

 

Lizzie smiles and then she tears her eyes from her reflection and turns to Josie. “Should we get going?”

 

Her sister’s smile falters when she glances down at Josie’s outfit and she finally realizes that Josie is still clad in her sweatpants and school tee.

 

“Hey, how come you aren’t dressed yet?”

 

Josie hesitates.

 

_Because I want to go find Penelope Park and tell her I don’t actually hate her and figure out why it bothers me so much that she hasn’t so much as spared me a glance in the past few days and-_

 

“I was actually planning to sit this one out.”

 

Lizzie frowns. “But we always go to parties together. At least one of us has to be there in case the other one wants to get drunk, remember?”

 

Of course Josie remembers. How could she forget when The Saltzman Sisters Buddy System almost always entails of Lizzie taking one too many shots and Josie holding her hair back as she pukes?

 

“I’m really sorry, Lizzie. I’m just not feeling it tonight. Next week, I promise.”

 

Lizzie’s lips are still quirked down, so Josie adds, “M.G. mentioned he’d be going tonight, though, and I’m sure he’d be up to go with you if you asked him.”

 

Josie watches as her sister ponders this for a moment before picking up her phone and typing up a hasty text. Not even a second later, Lizzie’s phone dings and her shoulders relax.

 

“Alright, looks like you’re off the hook.”

 

Josie shoots her a soft smile and before Lizzie leaves, she reminds her to stay safe and to call in case she needs anything.

 

“Always. See you later, Jo.”

 

“Have fun, Lizzie.”

 

* * *

 

Josie Saltzman feels like a fucking door-to-door saleswoman, considering the number of times she’s knocked on this very door.

 

She hears shuffling on the other side of the wood and Josie humors herself by creating a fictional sales pitch in the meantime.

 

_Hey there, are you interested in a one-of-a-kind, incredibly rare, 100% unique Josette Saltzman apology? Because if your name is Penelope Park, you are in luck today-_

 

The door opens and it’s not Penelope Park. It’s Hope Mikaelson and Josie mentally reels when she realizes the feeling that floods her chest is disappointment and not excitement.

 

“Hi, Hope.”

 

“Josie,” Hope raises her eyebrows. “Based on the look on your face, I assume you’re looking for Penelope?”

 

“I’m not- I wasn’t-”

 

Hope rolls her eyes, a half-smile entertaining her lips. “Sorry, Jo, she just left for that party in the woods.”

 

Of course. _Of course_. Why didn’t it even occur to Josie that Penelope might actually have plans for the night?

 

“Right. I totally knew that. I’m sorry for disturbing you, I’ll just-”

 

“Hold on,” Josie pauses. “Do you want to come in for a minute? I know I’m not Penelope, but I am free tonight, and something tells me you are too.”

 

Josie rolls her eyes at the playful jab and she nods. “Sure. I’d like that, actually.”

 

Josie isn’t exactly sure how or why, but somehow, they end up watching old Disney movies together and talking over the dialogue to scoff every time the characters reinforce gender roles and perpetuate social stereotypes.

 

Then, sometime towards the end of their third film, Josie catches herself thinking, “Penelope would have a total field day with this movie,” and she doesn’t realize she’s said it out loud until she feels Hope’s eyes on her.

 

Thankfully, the other girl refrains from commenting, but Josie’s cheeks burn nonetheless. Who does Penelope Park think she is? Invading Josie’s every thought like fucking dandelions in an unsuspecting field. Pretty and harmless, but popping up out of nowhere and taking up any space they can find.

 

Josie doesn’t need this. She needs to invest in some fucking weed control, or better yet, some pest control, because Penelope Park needs to kindly get out of her damn head.

 

The end credits begin to roll and Hope flicks on the lights.

 

“That was great. I haven’t watched a Disney movie in ages,” Josie remarks.

 

“Yep.” Hope wastes no time beating around the bush. “So do you like her?”

 

“Sorry?”

 

“Penelope. Do you like her?”

 

Oh. Fuck. _Does_ she like her?

 

Josie doesn’t respond. She isn’t really sure how to.

 

“Because if you don’t,” Hope continues, “you should just be honest with her.”

 

When Josie still can’t quite figure out what to say, Hope keeps talking.

 

“I know you don’t have bad intentions, Josie, and I also know it’s not my place to have an opinion on whatever you two are doing, but, no matter how many nights I’ve lost sleep because of her fucking minuscule bladder, I actually care about the girl. I’d hate to see Penelope hurt even more than she already is, with her-” Hope pauses.

 

“With what?”

 

“Never mind,” Hope shakes her head. “Just be gentle, okay? I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, but Penelope’s not as badass as she likes people to think she is.”

 

Josie has barely any time to process this information before the door swings open and the girl in question walks into the room.

 

Penelope strips off her leather jacket and tosses it on her mattress, talking with her back to the pair.

 

“Oh my _god_ , Mikaelson, you seriously missed out tonight. But don’t worry, I’ll totally role play everything for you. So, pretend I’m Kaleb, right? And let’s say this pillow is Jed. So Kaleb goes-”

 

She cuts herself short when she turns around and spies Josie staring back at her with twinkling eyes.

 

“Um. My bad, I didn’t realize you had company. I can just-”

 

“Wait,” Josie beats Hope to it, and both girls stare at her. Penelope in surprise and Hope in amusement.

 

Josie wants to roll her eyes, because screw them for being baffled at the fact that Josie can actually speak up for herself, but then she tries to think of the last time she did just that, and her mind draws a blank, and her stomach stirs a little.

 

“I was actually just waiting up on you. I wanted to talk, if that’s okay?”

 

“I suddenly have to walk my fish,” Hope announces and when Penelope shoots her an dirty look, Hope amends, “I mean, I’m suddenly craving a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You guys want anything?”

 

She doesn’t bother sticking around for a response.

 

Penelope regards Josie with a wary expression and crosses her arms in front of her chest, leaning against her bed. “So, looks like you guys are making progress. You know what, I think that, maybe we should just call off the whole-”

 

“I’m sorry,” Josie blurts it out before she can psyche herself out of being honest for once.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m sorry,” she repeats. “About the other day in the dining hall? I don’t hate you, Penelope.”

 

“You don’t hate me,” Penelope repeats.

 

“I don’t. Honestly. I guess I panicked because Lizzie was asking about you and I know the plan was for her to find out, so you could get on her nerves or whatever, but I just- I didn’t want her to hate me.”

 

Josie’s voice breaks towards the end and Penelope’s face cracks, her arms unfolding. She looks like she’s about to say something, but for the first time in a long time, Josie isn’t finished talking.

 

“I have this really bad habit of doing dumb things when I don’t know how to handle my feelings. You know that thing you said, the night of my birthday? About my feelings spilling over and setting my world on fire? You were right. They _literally_ set my world on fire.”

 

In a bout of word vomit, Josie proceeds to recount that time two years ago when she poured her feelings out in a letter to Hope, slid it under her door, thought better of it, panicked, and accidentally burnt her room down. She tells Penelope about how she made up Hope spreading those nasty rumors, just so Lizzie wouldn’t want to call dibs on her.

 

Josie confesses her sins and spills her secrets and Penelope just listens.

 

When Josie finally runs out of words, runs out of pent-up feelings, she lets out an exhale and wipes at any loose tears. She feels like she can breathe again.

 

Penelope opens her mouth to say something, but there’s shuffling at her right and Josie turns to find that they have an audience.

 

Josie’s heart drops because said audience is not just Hope, but, lord know how, Lizzie too.

 

The girls exchange a look and their words bump into each other.

 

“You thought I would spread rumors about your bipolar disorder?”

 

“You didn’t tell people that I’m witch bipolar?”

 

Then they both look at Josie.

 

“You had a crush on me?”

 

“You _lied_?”

 

And just like that Josie Saltzman’s world is on fire again.

 

Only this time, Penelope Park is at her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this half-awake lol, not too sure how i'll feel about it in the morning, but i felt bad for doing y'all like that with the last chap so here we are :')
> 
> i know this wasn't too posie-heavy, bUT (avert your eyes if you don't care for long-winded explanations), the purpose of this chapter was for josie to not only speak up for herself and be more honest about her feelings, but to also take ownership for her actions. i feel like the show totally glazes over the weight of josie's fuck ups, and doesn't emphasize very much accountability, but we are all for making mistakes, admitting them, accepting them, and learning from them !!! that's kind of where josie's apology to penelope comes into play, but i definitely intend to implement this ideology to her relationships with lizzie and hope in the next few chapters. in conclusion, josie has a lot of shit to sort out,,, but don't we all?
> 
> anyhow, apologies for the heavier chapter, the next one should definitely be more light-hearted! 
> 
> talk to me on twitter @ sataninacape :)  
> i swear i don't bite! (if this were a penelope park dialogue, it would end with "unless you want me to", but i'm not that bold lmao)


	6. no, you don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a chapter of realizations

Josie opens her mouth to explain but Lizzie just shakes her head, her hands trembling.

 

Her sister is clearly on the verge of an episode, and Josie’s breath catches in her throat. Maybe it’s because of the Twin Pains or maybe it’s because she knows that, for the first time in her life, Lizzie’s undoing is entirely her fault.

 

Either way, Josie is frozen as Lizzie storms away.

 

A beat.

 

“I’ll go check on her,” Hope says, and if Josie were listening carefully, she would have heard the concern in her tone.

 

But Josie is so caught up in the weight of what’s happened, she doesn’t realize that the redhead is gone until the door shuts behind her.

 

“Wait,” Josie calls, a little too late. She takes a step, but Penelope’s hand catches her sleeve.

 

“This is obviously your call, but I think you should give them a minute to process.”

 

Josie deflates and Penelope adds. “And I think you might need a minute to process too.”

 

She’s right, of course, and Josie wants to bark out a laugh because who knew Penelope Park would ever act as her voice of reason.

 

“Okay.”

 

Penelope responds with a soft smile and Josie wonders when exactly Penelope’s smiles stopped getting on her nerves and started calming them instead.

 

They make their way to Penelope’s bed and Josie presses her back to the wall, her arm against Penelope’s.

 

“I think I really messed up, Pen,” Josie whispers.

 

She can’t stop thinking about that look of utter betrayal on Lizzie’s face, the confusion and hurt in Hope’s eyes. Josie can’t even begin to imagine how they feel, and she can’t even begin to think of ways to apologize.

 

Penelope places her hand on Josie’s bare knee. She tugs at the loose threads of her ripped skinny jeans.

 

“Fucking up doesn’t make you a bad person.”

 

Josie looks down. Painted nails skim her skin. She sighs.

 

“Then what exactly makes you a bad person?”

 

Penelope blinks and her lips part within seconds, as if she’s had an answer written down for ages.

 

“Not owning up to your actions. Not understanding what you did wrong to begin with. Not making an effort to fix things.”

 

Josie shoots her a sideways glance and her heart dips because, _god_ , who hurt this girl?

 

To Josie’s utter surprise, a tear escapes Penelope’s Disney eyes, and Josie doesn’t think so hard when her hand is drawn to the other girl’s face. She wipes it away without a second thought.

 

“Sorry,” Penelope laughs a little, head bobbing.  “I didn’t mean to- This is about you.”

 

Josie’s gaze lingers on her lips as the press together, and Josie drops her hand with a frown.

 

“But when is it ever about you?”

 

Penelope rolls her eyes, but Josie actually means it.

 

“Honestly, Pen. You know so much about me and I don’t even know your middle name.”

 

The other girl considers this and her lips twitch as she responds.

 

“It’s Jurassic.”

 

Josie scrunches her nose and tilts her head because her parents must be genuine assholes to do her like that.

 

“Penelope _Jurassic_ Park? I- Oh.”

 

Josie shoves the other girl a little. “I was being serious, Penelope.”

 

“So was I,” Penelope responds. Her head is tilted in a _what’s so funny?_ and her lips are tugged down and, oh fuck, she wasn’t kidding.

 

And then Penelope bursts out laughing and Josie shoves her again.

 

“Asshole.”

 

Penelope giggles some more and Josie can’t help but join her.

 

“Oh my god, JoJo, you should have seen your face. I can’t believe you thought I was serious.”

 

“Shut up. I hate you.”

 

“No, you don’t.”

 

Josie rolls her eyes and heaves a dramatic sigh. “Whatever.”

 

Their laughter subsides and Josie realizes that Penelope’s fingers are still on her knee. She’s drawing stars and sending chills down her leg and maybe Josie should wear ripped jeans more often.

 

“So, what do you want to know?”

 

The question is quiet and Josie considers this.

 

What _does_ she want to know about Penelope Park?

 

Only her coffee order, and what her relationship is like with her parents, and which side of the bed she prefers to sleep on, and who her closest friends are, and where she goes when she needs to think, and what her saddest memory is, and who she calls when she can’t sleep, and whether she wants no children or five, and-

 

And then Josie remembers that night of her birthday and she asks the most hard-hitting question there is.

 

“Do your plants have names?”

 

Penelope grins.

 

“Of course my plants have names.”

 

She introduces Josie to Perseus and Esmeralda and Sergio and Florence and Bob, and Josie knows that Lizzie and Hope are probably listing all the ways that Josie has done them wrong, but somehow, she can’t help but push those thoughts aside.

 

Because right now, Josie is too busy getting to know Penelope Park and her plants and that’s all that seems to matter.

 

* * *

 

Lizzie and Hope are not listing all the ways that Josie has done them wrong.

 

In fact, they’re not even talking about Josie. Because they’re not even talking at all.

 

Hope’s lips are on Lizzie’s neck and Lizzie’s hands are in red hair and fuck if she knows how they got here.

 

Lizzie’s episode had been a blur of emotions and blue eyes.

 

She remembers Hope calming her down. She remembers talking about her feelings, talking about how much it hurt that her own sister had lied to her.

 

Lizzie remembers telling Hope that, for her, the worst part wasn’t even that Josie had lied.

 

The worst part was all that time Lizzie spent hating Hope for no reason. All that time they could have spent together.

 

“Spent doing what?” Hope had asked.

 

“You know,” Lizzie had trailed off, avoiding her eyes, head high, “just talking.”

 

Hope had smirked because this girl could read Lizzie like a book, and Lizzie couldn’t even bring herself to hate her for it. “And kissing?”

 

“I mean, only if you insist.”

 

Hope had giggled and Lizzie’s dimples had deepened because who knew Hope Mikaelson could sound so giddy.

 

So okay, maybe Lizzie knows exactly how they got here, and maybe she doesn’t mind one bit.

 

Her back hits the bed and she’s still convinced that this is a dream.

 

“Hey, isn’t this Josie’s bed?” Hope asks between breaths.

 

“Oh, yeah. It’s the least she deserves for depriving me of _this_ for so damn long.”

 

They spend the next hour making up for all that lost time.

 

* * *

 

Josie runs into Hope on the way back to her room.

 

She’s so caught up thinking about Penelope’s fucking plants and the fact that they even have _last_ names that Josie doesn’t notice the redhead until they bump into each other, Hope walking out of Josie’s dorm wearing a soft smile.

 

Hope’s hair is tousled, lips swollen and eyes glazed, and it doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.

 

Josie isn’t even surprised. Honestly, she kind of expected this to happen, sooner or later. But maybe more later than sooner.

 

Still, Josie is only surprised by the fact that she’s not disappointed in the slightest. If anything, she’s disappointed in herself for not realizing that Lizzie and Hope were always destined to be.

 

Josie can’t believe it took her this long to realize it, even after all those years of their heated arguments and stolen glances. All those years of orbiting each other, refraining from that cosmic pull.

 

Hope is glowing and Josie is just glad they’ve finally given in to it.

 

 _I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner_ , Josie want to tell her.

 

Instead she says, “I’m sorry for everything.”

 

Josie apologizes for torching Hope’s room and burning her belongings. She apologizes for driving a wedge between her and Lizzie. She apologizes for everything she ever said or did to wrong Hope Mikaelson. Josie promises to be better.

 

Hope hugs her and this is when Josie realizes that she’s truly fucked, because her heart doesn’t even flinch.

 

She thinks back to ten minutes ago when all it took was a smile from Penelope to make her knees weak and her heart stutter and _oh_.

 

Fuck.

 

Hope says goodnight and Josie stares at the door.

 

She shakes her head because her hormones can wait until tomorrow. Right now, she just needs to apologize to her sister.

 

“Lizzie?”

 

“Hm?”

 

Lizzie is lounging in her bed, running a hand through her hair, more relaxed than Josie has ever seen her.

 

“I’m really sorry.”

 

Her sister sighs. “I know, Jo.”

 

She scoots over and Josie joins her, resting her head on Lizzie’s shoulder.

 

Josie apologizes for making up those rumors so that Lizzie would hate Hope. For lying to her sister for all that time. For not saying anything sooner.

 

“I’m sorry too,” Lizzie admits when Josie is done talking.

 

“For what? You have nothing to apologize for, Liz.”

 

“Yes, I do. I didn’t realize you felt so uncomfortable around me. I heard what you were telling Penelope, about- about not knowing how to talk to me. I’m sorry for not being a better sister, Jo.”

 

Josie tears up because this is so not how she expected her night to go. Lizzie wraps an arm around her and squeezes.

 

“Also, Hope and I may or may not have played tonsil hockey on your bed. But, actually, I’m not even sorry about that.”

 

Lizzie grins and Josie snorts.

 

“Okay, fine, I totally deserved that.”

 

And then they’re giggling and, for the first time in a long time, Josie doesn’t miss her sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fellow hizzies, this one was for you!! 
> 
> i know it wasn't a full meal, but i hope i did y'all justice! i have trouble writing both hope and lizzie, which is why their dialogue is p much nonexistent oof, but i'll try to work on that for future chapters!!
> 
> to my posies, i hope you enjoyed miss penelope park and her plants! josie sure did ;)
> 
> as always, let me know how you feel on twitter @ sataninacape!


	7. bold words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLvXee8TfuM

A week later, Josie learns that Penelope Park’s friends are not the brainless puppets that she pegged them as.

 

In fact, they’re all fairly smart, and mostly friendly.

 

The only problem being that more than half of them are so obviously in love with Penelope, it’s a little disconcerting.

 

Josie relays this information to Penelope after their Saturday tea, a weekly phenomenon that Milton Greasley and Penelope Park co-host between hot croissants and discussions of feminist literature.

 

Penelope just laughs. “I know.”

 

Josie rolls her eyes. Of course she does.

 

“And?”

  
  
“And what?”

 

“You’re not going to do anything about it?”

 

The other girl quirks an eyebrow.

 

“What am I supposed to do about it?”

 

Josie shrugs.

 

 _Whatever you want, I guess_.

 

Penelope was free to do whatever she liked, seeing as they had decided to call off their fake fuck buddies agreement a few days ago. She couldn’t remember who instigated that conversation, but Josie was mostly just glad that they could finally be friends without the false pretense.

 

But she was also frustrated because that’s all they were to each other. Friends.

 

And the more that Josie gets to know her, the more baffled she is that a girl like Penelope Park isn’t drowning herself in lovers.

 

Josie immediately berates herself for that thought. For implying that there are _girls like Penelope Park_. Because there’s no such things as girls like Penelope Park. There is simply Penelope Park.

 

Then, Josie remembers one of the texts that M.G. mentioned regarding the erasure of asexuality, and she also berates herself for internalizing sex-normative culture. For perpetuating it by operating under the assumption of sexual desire as the pinnacle of their lives.

 

Penelope Park does _not_ need to drown herself in lovers for social validation.

 

Also, on a personal note, Josie would totally prefer if Penelope didn’t drown herself in lovers period.

 

But then again, as a feminist, Josie recognizes that it’s her body and her choice. If Penelope wants to reclaim her sexuality beyond the bounds of heteropatriarchal policing, she is free to do so.

 

And Josie is free to mope over her doing so.

 

“Nothing if you don’t want to. I just mean… everyone is so obsessed with you, it’s kind of ridiculous. You have the entire school at your disposal, Pen.”

 

Penelope laughs again. “Too bad I don’t want the entire school, JoJo.”

 

They lock eyes and there’s an unspoken statement in her stare that makes Josie blush.

 

 _I just want you_ , Penelope seems to say.

 

Or maybe Josie’s just reading into it.

 

* * *

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize stomping my foot three times in a row would summon the _actual_ devil.”

 

Lizzie shuts the door in Penelope’s face and Josie rushes forward to intervene.

 

“ _Lizzie_ , don’t be rude. I invited her.”

 

Her sister scoffs when the door knob twists and Penelope smirks back at them.

 

“Yeah, _Lizzie_ , no need to be rude. I come in peace and bearing popcorn. Besides, how would you possibly go about summoning the devil when you _are_ th-”

 

Josie swats her. Hope snorts in the background and Lizzie turns around to shoot her a glare.

 

“Penelope Park, if you don’t cut it out right now, I’ll just have to tell everyone all about that time when you were eight and-”

 

Penelope’s eyes widen before Josie can finish her threat. “Okay, fine! I’ll stop!”

 

Hope snorts again, muttering something that sounds an awful lot like “whipped”, and it’s Penelope’s turn to glare at her.

 

“I can’t believe I ever thought you were the tame twin,” she tells Josie.

 

Lizzie looks baffled and Josie just rolls her eyes, smiling a little because she can’t help herself.

 

“Did you just _compliment_ me?” Lizzie asks in shock.

 

“You think _that_ was a compliment?” Penelope turns to Hope. “Damn, Hope, you really don’t know how to treat a girl right, do you?”

 

The conversation that ensues is a litter of curse words and comebacks and Josie doesn’t even bother to interject. She just stands there and smiles because this is all she never knew she wanted.

 

Movie night with her sister and her friend and… whatever Penelope Park is to her. Preferably, with them getting along, but movie night nonetheless.

 

Penelope catches Josie’s eye and she stops short of an insult. Lizzie and Hope don’t notice.

 

Her head tilts and her green eyes ask Josie a question. _“Are you okay?”_

 

In the past few days, Penelope has done this so many times that Josie has lost count.

 

She’ll survey a crowded room and find Josie’s eyes within a heartbeat. She’ll notice if Josie is elsewhere, both mentally and physically. She’ll acknowledge Josie’s presence. Validate her existence. Let her know that someone sees her. It gives Josie butterflies every time.

 

Josie smiles in response. _Better than okay_.

 

Their banter dies down when Josie starts the movie.

 

“What the hell? When did we agree on Jurassic Park?”

 

The lights are out, but Josie turns to Penelope, who’s found her place on the floor to Josie’s right. They share a secret smile at the inside joke in the glow of the screen.

 

Josie’s heart skips a beat. Or two. Or seven.

 

“Must have been when you and Hope were busy shoving your tongues down each other’s thro-“

 

Josie snorts, but she knocks her shoulder against Penelope’s in an attempt to silence her. A little too hard apparently, because Penelope ends up with her back to the ground.

 

Penelope sputters. “ _Jesus_ , Jo, how much do you lift?”

 

Josie laughs a little, extending her hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- _oof.”_

 

Of course, Penelope pulls Josie down with her. Or, rather, on top of her. Because that’s where Josie is right now. On top of Penelope Park.

 

Their foreheads are touching and Josie thinks this is the closest she’s ever been to Penelope.

 

She likes the view from up here. Her eyes are greener, lips pinker, skin softer.

 

Josie thinks she wouldn’t mind being just a little closer.

 

“Oops,” Penelope smirks. She doesn’t look very apologetic.

 

“Get a room, you two.”

 

Hope’s joke is enough to interrupt their moment and send Josie scrambling away from Penelope.

 

She sits up and her sister looks so unsettled, Josie almost loses the blush and laughs out loud.

 

“Really? Right in front of my salad? Absolutely unacceptable.”

 

But Lizzie’s eyes say otherwise and Hope is giggling and Penelope just looks a little dazed.

 

Josie reaches her hand out again and Penelope complies this time.  

 

“Thanks,” Penelope says.

 

“Always,” Josie responds. She means it.

 

They settle back into their seats and they revert their attention to the screen.

 

Penelope’s voice is low when she speaks again. “I’m not sorry, by the way.”

 

Josie’s heart catches. Penelope’s lips are right by her ear and her breath is hot on her skin.

 

“I _totally_ meant to.”

 

 _Just kiss me already_ , Josie wants to tell her.

 

“You’re such a loser, Pen,” she says instead.

 

There’s a pause and the Jurassic Park theme song comes on. Penelope whispers something in between chords and it takes Josie a minute to decipher it.

 

“Only for you, JoJo.”

 

 _Oh_.

 

* * *

 

A horror movie and two bowls of popcorn later, Lizzie and Hope are tangled up in each other, sound asleep, and Josie and Penelope are debating on a third movie.

 

“How about we blow this popsicle stand and just go to my room for a little marijuana and chill?”

 

Josie agrees immediately. She doesn’t think she can handle much more of Penelope’s fingers unknowingly tracing patterns on her bare knee. Or maybe she’s doing it knowingly.

 

Either way, Josie is hot and bothered and Penelope is hot and bothering her.

 

They clean up their mess and tip toe towards the door, but not before Josie places a blanket on top of Hope and her sister. Penelope just watches her with this look in her eye and Josie tries her hardest to place it, but she comes up short.

 

They head to Penelope’s room, where Josie traces the spines of Penelope’s books, which she’s since discovered are a collection of American classics, Greek mythology, and a handful of works by feminist authors and poets.

 

“Which one’s your favorite?”

 

Penelope responds immediately, not bothering to look up from her lighter.

 

“Are you kidding? That’s like asking me to pick a favorite plant. I love all my children equally.”

  
Josie smiles fondly and Penelope continues.

 

“But this book honestly changed my life.”

 

Josie runs a hand over the cover of the book that Penelope is gesturing towards.

 

“bell hooks?”

 

“Mhmm, feminist icon. Want a hit?”

 

Josie looks up from the cover and regards the blunt between Penelope’s fingers.

 

“No, thanks.”

 

 _I think your presence is drug enough_.

 

* * *

 

It’s just past midnight when they end up outside, feet dangling from the edge of the hot tub.

 

They’re both reading Penelope’s books, but Josie can sense the other girl’s eyes on her more often than not, and she has a feeling that Penelope is spending more time staring than reading.

 

Josie smiles because she doesn’t mind one bit.

 

“I love this,” Josie tells her. She gestures towards the book in her hand, but she’s honestly talking about everything. About being right here right now, Penelope Park at her side.

 

“I know, right?”

 

“I never knew the feminist movement was so-” she places the book on her lap and brings her hand up to her head, mimicking an explosion.

 

Penelope hums in agreement. “Yeah. It’s gorgeous, really.”

 

 _You’re gorgeous_.

 

“Ever wonder what a homomatriarchy would look like?” Penelope asks, out of the blue.

 

Josie decides to entertain her. “All the time.”

 

“Want to find out?”

 

She snorts. “Penelope Park, is this your way of proposing?”

 

“Proposing world domination, yes.”

 

Josie giggles and Penelope’s faux solemnity cracks.

 

“Fuck, the feminist in me can’t even say that with a straight face. After all, domination is the foundation of the heteropatriarchy. Like homegirl says, _whenever domination is present, love is lacking_. The feminist movement, and love in general, is all about creating an ethos of mutuality.”

 

Penelope blows a puff of lavender-scented smoke and Josie just stares at her, trying not to make it obvious that her quoting bell hooks, and calling her _homegirl,_ is enough to turn Josie on.

 

Josie clears her throat. “Spoken like a true bottom.”

 

Penelope splashes the water by Josie’s feet, dipping her head back in a laugh, and Josie closes her eyes to revel in the sound.

 

“Bold words, Saltzman.”

 

 _So prove me wrong,_ Josie wants to say.

 

“But speaking of bottoms,” Penelope continues. “Are you and Lizzie alright now?”

 

“We’re on good terms, yes. We’re also not comfortable discussing each other’s sex lives, thank you very much.”

  
  
“You know I’m not wrong, though.” Josie swats her. “But I’m glad you guys are good.”

 

There’s a pause and Josie still can’t believe that Penelope is capable of discussing Lizzie without snarling.

 

“You know,” Penelope hesitates, “I actually have a sister too.”

 

Josie blinks, taken aback. Considering the fact that Penelope has only ever mentioned Parker, and even his name is scarce in conversations, Josie thinks she’s allowed to be a little surprised.

 

She opens her mouth to ask why this has never come up, but Penelope continues.

 

“ _Had_ , I mean. Sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to using the past tense.”

 

And then Penelope looks back down at her book, signaling the end of a barely-started conversation, and Josie is left sitting there with her head tilted and her lips parted, stinging with unanswered questions.

 

Just when Josie thought she had Penelope all figured out, had a peak beyond her facade, Josie realizes that Penelope Park is a never-ending novel of mysteries.

 

And Josie Saltzman so desperately wants to read every page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> miss penelope jurassic park is a pothead and a feminist. miss josette saltzman and i are very much here for this.
> 
> lol can you tell i recently took a gender, women, and sexuality studies course? because i recently took a gender, women, and sexuality studies course. can't even say i'm sorry for slipping in all the talk about feminism, because i'm not really sorry about it :') the book that penelope and josie are referring to is called "Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics" by bell hooks, and i absolutely recommend giving it a read if you have a minute! it's pretty brief, and an excellent primer on the feminist movement!
> 
> anyhow, how are we feeling about penelope's backstory !?? any theories?? 
> 
> lmk @ sataninacape on twitter! slide on in to those dms if you want to talk feminism or legacies or anything at all :)


	8. whipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> worry not, mostly just fluff :)

It’s been a month since that night by the pool and, every day in between, Josie has waded just a little deeper into the ocean that is Penelope Park.

 

Every day, Josie learns a bit more about the Disney-eyed pothead, picking up on her quirks and taking note of her mannerisms.

 

Josie learns that Penelope is vehemently opposed to chocolate milk and thinks that Monopoly should be illegal. Josie learns that Penelope is a sucker for Snoop Dogg and knows the words to all of his songs. Josie learns that Penelope only sighs when she’s sad and sometimes giggles when she’s happy. Josie learns that Penelope has the attention span of a six year old and can’t focus when she does her homework.

 

Which is why they study together. Or rather, they _try_ to study together.

 

Even though Josie knows she should be helping Penelope focus, she doesn’t exactly oppose on the nights they push off their homework to get high together.

 

On other nights, they lose the pot and binge-watch CSI. And, okay, maybe even a few episodes of Inspector Gadget here and there, but only because Penelope _insists_.

 

But most nights, they just talk, soft and sober. Mostly about the present, but sometimes about the past, and sometimes about the future.

 

About what they want to be. (A veterinarian and a lawyer.)

 

About _who_ they want to be. ( _Something more to you_ , Josie wants to tell her. She doesn’t.)

 

They never talk about Penelope’s family. Or her sister. Or Parker, even. And it’s tearing Josie apart because she’s _so_ curious.

 

She just wants to know everything there is to know about Penelope Park.

 

But Josie understands that it’s not her place to be impatient, to push for answers. Penelope will open up eventually, and when she does, Josie will be there to listen.

 

Something that Josie is currently not doing an excellent job at.

 

Milton Greasley is staring at her like he’s expecting an answer and Josie blinks twice because _fuck_. All she can think about is Penelope Park and, honestly, the only thing alarming about that fact is how little she’s bothered by it.

 

“Hm, what?”

 

M.G.’s lips contort into his all-knowing, elfish smile, and he shakes his head a little.

 

“Jo, you are _so_ _whipped_.”

 

Josie blushes, breaking eye contact. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

Milton follows Josie’s gaze to Penelope’s frame and he just laughs.

 

“Honestly, who would have thought? Penelope Park and Josie Saltzman: Good Girl Meets Bad Girl.”

 

He throws in a reference to a pair of superheroes, but Josie is caught up in his previous words.

 

Before getting to know Penelope, she would have automatically pegged her as the latter in the title. As the girl that leads people on and breaks hearts as a hobby and makes babies cry for fun.

 

But after seeing Penelope tear up during Disney movies and debate politics with her friends and teach Pedro how to tie his shoelaces when she thinks no one is watching, Josie has a hunch that Penelope is more so the former. The good girl.

 

At least, that’s who she is when no one’s looking.

 

That’s who she is when she’s around Josie.

 

Of course, Josie refrains from saying any of this out loud. Instead, she rolls her eyes and flicks her pencil at M.G.

 

“Shut it, Milton. Penelope and I are just friends.”

 

As if the girl in question can hear them over the not-so-hushed conversations flooding the library, kind eyes greet hers.

 

An eyebrow quirks. _Hey_.

 

Josie smiles. _Hi._

 

Penelope leans forward, resting her chin on her palm, turtle smile adorning her lips. She gestures to the empty seat on her left. _Come sit with me_.

 

Josie shakes her head, flashing Penelope her homework to explain that she and M.G. are working on a project together.

 

Somehow, the other girl manages to decipher her brief gestures, and she nods, huffing dramatically before turning back to her friends.

 

Penelope isn’t subtle as she continues to steal glances at Josie between conversations. The corner of her lips tug upwards when she realizes that Josie doesn’t even bother to look away.

 

Milton observes their exchange fondly.

 

“Friends who eye-fuck across the room?”

 

Josie whispers a spell in response and Milton yelps.

 

“Did you just burn my socks?”

 

Josie bats her eyelashes. “Oops.”

 

M.G. glares at her, but Josie decides it’s totally worth it when Penelope’s laugh rings out from a few tables down.

 

* * *

 

After dinner, Josie is twirling around in Penelope’s chair as the other girl works on her book report for Latin.

 

Penelope clears her throat and looks up from the line that she’s been working on for the past seven minutes.

 

“ _Vitula mea tristis est_.”

 

Josie stops twirling and starts laughing. “Penelope, you just said your cow is sad.”

 

She sighs, running a hand through her hair. “Excellent. Exactly what I was going for.”

 

Josie snorts because Penelope Park excels at most things, but Latin is not one of those things.

 

“Help?”

 

Josie sets aside her textbooks and joins Penelope on her bed without a second thought, Milton’s comment from earlier ringing in her head.

 

 _Whipped_.

 

Josie ignores the voice and uses her pencil to scratch out any mistakes while Penelope peaks over her shoulder.

 

This goes on for three paragraphs until Penelope rests her head against the wall, probably with more force than she intended to, because a picture flutters off the wall and into Josie’s lap.

 

She’s seen it before, seen Penelope run her hands over it when she thought Josie wasn’t looking.

 

It’s a picture of a girl. Probably her sister.

 

Penelope confirms when she picks up the polaroid and stares at it, a crease between her brows, something sad in her eyes.

 

“This is Piper,” she tells Josie after a minute of silence. “My older sister.”

 

Josie looks down. Between the green eyes and tan skin, there’s no question about it.

 

“She’s pretty.”

 

The crease fades. “People say we look alike, so I’ll just take that as an inadvertent compliment. Thanks, JoJo.”

 

Penelope winks and Josie rolls her eyes.

 

When Disney eyes still don’t sparkle the way they usually do, Josie is overcome with the urge to restore their humor. Which is why she can’t stop next few words from toppling over her tongue.

 

“You don’t have to settle for an inadvertent compliment, Pen. I think you’re pretty too.”

 

There’s a pause and Penelope just stares at her. Her eyes are wide, cheeks red, lips parted.

 

The air between them is thick.

 

Not with lavender smoke or teenage angst or awkward tension.

 

Just with the smell of Penelope’s laundry detergent and Josie never knew how attractive the smell of cotton could be until she met Penelope Park.

 

Penelope sighs and warm breath stains Josie’s skin, her body tingling with electricity.

 

_Will you just kiss me already?_

 

Normally, Josie wouldn’t say this out loud, but Penelope’s hair tickles her shoulder, sending chills down her arm, and her lips beg to act on their own accord.

 

So she says it out loud.

 

In Latin, of course, knowing full well that Penelope couldn’t understand her if she tried.

 

Or at least, Josie thinks she said it in Latin.

 

But then Penelope’s breath hitches and her head tilts and _oh._

 

Maybe Josie didn’t say it in Latin.

 

“You have no idea how long I’ve be waiting for you to say that.”

 

Penelope shifts so her hand cups Josie’s cheek and Josie doesn’t trust herself to speak.

 

She lets the papers slide off her lap and Penelope moves until the space between them has evaporated and all that’s left is lips on lips, hands to hips.  

 

Josie reacts immediately, like a vinyl to a needle, a symphony of soft touches and fevered kisses pouring out of her in a matter of seconds.

 

They meld into each other, Josie’s fingers tangled up in Penelope’s curls.

 

It feels like the start of a song, just the first few chords, and Josie doesn’t need to hear the rest of it to know that she’d like to put this one on repeat for the rest of her life.

 

But moments are not songs and Josie cannot survive without air, so she pulls back for a breath, but mostly to see what Penelope will do next.

 

Golden skin meets hers when Penelope rests her forehead against Josie’s.

 

“Can we, um-” Penelope’s tone is so hesitant that Josie almost pulls away in confusion.

 

“Can we do this somewhere else? I really want to kiss you right now, but Bob is right there and I can just feel him watching us, and you know I can’t with the male gaze. Plus, I don’t want to scar him, he’s only-“

 

Penelope continues to ramble and Josie just stares at her.

 

She’s talking about her plants. Penelope Park just kissed her for the first time ever and now she’s _talking about her plants._

 

Josie can’t stop the laugh that spills over her swollen lips.

 

Penelope looks a little alarmed, so Josie places a gentle kiss on plush lips, and then she laughs some more.

 

Penelope pushes herself off the bed to stand up and Josie wraps her hand around her wrist.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

Her stare says _nowhere without you_ , but her lips say “Just a second.”

 

Josie lets out a sigh and leans back so her head rests against a pillow. She watches as Penelope picks up each of her plants and sets them out of sight.

 

A small smile tugs at her lips because _of course_.

 

Of course _this_ is the girl that makes her heart stutter.

 

“Penelope Park, you are something else.”

 

Penelope smiles, joining Josie on her bed. She props her head up with one hand and draws stars on Josie’s skin with the other. Josie thinks she could get used to this.

 

“You love it, Josie Saltzman.”

 

She does.

 

“I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realize this upload was relatively short & apologies for the lack of hizzie, but hopefully it was enough to appease your withdrawals :')
> 
> the season finale was,,, something else to say the least.
> 
> anyhow, just wanted to thank you all for the kind comments!! please know i appreciate each of you and will try my best to continue writing fic during this hiatus :) definitely will push out oneshots here and there, if not multi-chapter fics! regardless, stay strong, posie warriors!! i have full confidence that penelope park will be back, eventually if not for s2, but in the meantime, i hope you enjoy miss penelope jurassic park in this universe ;)
> 
> talk to me on twitter @ sataninacape! i swear i'm friendly lol


	9. 112

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brace yoself

Josie often wonders if there’s a universe where Penelope Park’s lips have never met her own.

 

One where Josie Saltzman and Penelope Park don’t fall in love between stealing glances and counting clouds and smoking pot and sharing secrets and trading t-shirts.

 

One without the fumbling touches and slow dances and pillow fights and tickle wars and midnight snacks.

 

One where they don’t know every inch of each other’s skin, every inch of each other’s being.

 

She wonders if there’s a universe where Penelope is an enemy or an acquaintance or, worst of all, a stranger.

 

They’re laying in bed one day, months after their first kiss, and the question floats out of her lips.

 

“Do you think there’s a world out there where we’ve never even met?”

 

Penelope is sitting with her back pressed against the headboard, holding a book in one hand and playing piano on Josie’s skin with the other. Josie is resting against Penelope’s shoulder, an extension of her being, reading a book of her own.

 

It’s another lazy Sunday, sometime between noon and lunch, and they have no business lounging around in bed like this, but Hope and Lizzie left for a mission with Josie’s dad yesterday, Penelope’s clique can do without their head bitch for a day, M.G. is busy playing rugby with Kaleb and the guys, and Penelope smells like laundry detergent and safety, and Josie honestly can’t bring herself to care about much else right now.

 

Josie watches as the other girl shuts her book and places it to the side. Penelope buries her face in the crook of Josie’s neck, plants a soft kiss on her skin, and wraps her arms around Josie’s middle before responding.

 

“No,” Penelope says simply.

 

Josie’s heart hums when Penelope rests her chin on Josie’s shoulder and explains.

 

“If there’s a world where we’ve never met, it’s only because neither of us exist.”

 

She pauses and Josie smiles because she knows that this is the part where her girlfriend goes soft on her.

 

“Jo, you’re like,” she gestures towards her plants, “my soil. You keep me grounded. You exist on your own terms, but without you, I wouldn’t.”

 

Josie’s heart stops.

 

_You can’t just say things like that and expect me not to fall for you._

 

She clears her throat.

 

“I’m sorry? Did you hear that, Pen? I think that was the sound of your reputation shattering.”

 

Penelope laughs. “Fuck off.”

 

Josie finds Penelope’s hand, so she can play with the rings on her fingers.

 

“I’m kidding, you know I love it when you get all poetic,” she says.

 

 _I’m kidding, you know I love you_ , she thinks.

 

_You know I love you._

 

_I love you._

 

_I-_

 

 _Oh_.

 

“I know.”

 

112 days.  

 

This is how long it takes for Josie Saltzman to realize that she’s in love with Penelope Park.

 

To be clear, Josie isn’t surprised in the slightest. A little annoyed, maybe, because she just _had_ to fall in love with a girl who’s only in love with her plants, but it’s fine.

 

Except it’s not fine because now that’s she’s thought it, Josie’s mind is racing with ways to say it.

 

She would say it in Latin, just for the sake of saying it out loud, but Josie has made that mistake once already.

 

For now, Josie just tilts her head and presses her lips to Penelope’s smirk.

 

 _I love you_. She says it without using her words.

 

Penelope instinctively goes to deepen the kiss, but Josie pulls back with a smile.

 

Her girlfriend pouts. “Tease.”

 

Josie rolls her eyes. “You can go five minutes without kissing me, Penelope.”

 

She opens her mouth to protest but Josie continues.

 

“And anyway, I was just going to say, if we’re talking metaphors, then I think you’re more like the water to my seed. You help me grow, you know?” _And I don’t think I could survive without you._

 

Penelope’s grin widens. “That’s fucking adorable, JoJo. Just wait ‘til I tell Lizzie.”

 

Josie groans when Penelope reaches for her phone to shoot her sister a text.

 

True to their competitive natures, Lizzie and Penelope are keeping score of who has the softer girlfriend. Lizzie insists it’s Hope and Penelope is convinced it’s Josie, but they all know that, in reality, Penelope Park takes the cake for softest bitch in town. When it comes to Josie Saltzman, that is.

 

Still, Josie is mostly just glad that Penelope and her sister are finally bonding, even if it is over their shared joy of poking fun at her.

 

Her phone buzzes and Penelope snorts. “Apparently Hope called your sister a pillow princess the other day, and then baked her a banana creme pie last night to apologize. She might win this round, but _damn_ , Hope Mikaelson is such a loser.”

 

Josie rolls her eyes, the corner of her lips twitching. “Don’t be rude, Penelope, that’s actually really sweet of her. And how many times have I told you that I don’t want to hear about my sister’s sex life?”

 

“Alright, alright, sorry. But, hey, maybe being a bottom runs in your gene-”

 

Josie elbows her in the ribs. Gently, of course. “Screw you, Park, you _know_ that’s not true.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Penelope’s lips mumble against Josie’s neck. “Prove it.”

 

Josie’s breath hitches and she would, she really would, but it’s almost one ‘o’clock and they have yet to eat breakfast, so she gathers up whatever self-restraint she can find and pulls back.

 

“Maybe later. Let’s go eat now.”

 

Penelope groans. “But I’m only hungry for your-”

 

“Finish that sentence and _you’ll_ be the loser baking a banana creme pie tonight.”

 

Josie stands, but Penelope remains in bed, letting a soft sigh escape from her lips.

 

Her laugh is tired and Josie notes that the humor doesn’t reach her eyes.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She automatically places a hand on Penelope’s forehead, but there’s no sign of a fever. Josie lets her fingers trace the valleys of Penelope’s face and she tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Is everything okay?”

 

Penelope shakes her head. “It’s nothing, I’m fine. Just tired because _someone_ decided to keep me up late.”

 

Josie frowns. She was up just as late as Penelope, but Josie doesn’t feel nearly as drained as her girlfriend looks.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Penelope nods, soft smile. “Positive. But would you be alright with eating without me today? I think I’d rather stay here and take a nap.”

 

Josie frowns again. Penelope hates missing breakfast and she absolutely resents taking naps. She’s a firm believer in eating three meals a day, and she thinks that naps are for the weak.

 

“Penelope, you know you can always tell me if something’s wrong, right?”

 

“Of course, Jo. I promise I’m just tired.”

 

Josie sighs because Penelope is stubborn as ever, and she can’t even bring herself to hate her for it.

 

“Alright, get some rest. But text me when you wake up so I can bring you back some food.”

 

Another soft smile.

 

“You’re the best, JoJo.”

 

Josie smiles back, placing a gentle kiss on Penelope’s forehead before slipping her shoes on and turning towards the door.

 

An _I love you_ lingers on her lips.

 

She decides against it.

 

“I know,” Josie says instead. “Later, Pen.”

 

* * *

 

Just because Josie is over Hope, doesn’t mean she’d like to see her twin sister under her.

 

“ _Josie_ -”

 

“Oh my god, nope.”

 

She shuts the door to her own room with a huff, trying desperately to blink away the not-so-PG images of her friend and her sister.

 

“You can come in now,” Hope calls out after a few minutes. “We’re decent, I promise.”

 

Josie turns the doorknob hesitantly, cringing when she spies her twin, breathless and irked.

 

“Knock much?”

 

“Have a good time with your girlfriend on _my_ bed much?”

 

“I’m sorry, Hope’s room wasn’t exactly available last we checked.”

 

The girl in question throws up her hands. “Okay! As much as I love a good twin banter, that sounds a lot like my cue to leave.”

 

Josie smiles at her antics, rolling her eyes when the redhead plants an exaggeratedly sloppy kiss on Lizzie’s cheek.

 

“Bye, Hope.”

 

“See you later, Josie. Love you, Liz.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

The door shuts and Josie raises an eyebrow at her flustered sister.

 

“Interesting development. When did _that_ happen?”

 

“When did Hope and I start fucking? Well, Josette, took you long enough to ask-”

 

Josie cuts her off. “ _Lizzie_ , please stop talking. I’d like to keep my innocence in tact, thank you very much.”

 

“Oh, really? Didn’t sound like that when Hope and I stopped by her dorm the other day and you and Penelope were-”

 

“ _Lizzie_ ,” Josie blushes all shades of red.

 

Her sister laughs at the horror in her eyes.

 

“You know what I mean. When did you and Hope say it?”

 

Lizzie’s laugh dies down but the light in her eyes remains.

 

“A few days ago. Dad asked us to bake cookies for the younger kids, and I accidentally got flour on her nose, and then we ended up in a food fight and, I don’t know. It just kind of happened.”

 

Josie watches her sister’s lips slip upwards, and she can practically feel the content radiating off of her.

 

“Who said it first?”

 

Lizzie wrinkles her nose. “Does that really matter?”

 

She grins. “So it was you, wasn’t it?”

 

Her sister rolls her eyes. “Shut up.”

 

Josie coos. “Just wait until Penelope hears about this.”

 

“Hey," Lizzie's eyebrows tug together, "Speaking of Penelope, how is she?”

 

Josie blinks because her sister's tone is anything but sarcastic. “I’m sorry, _what_? Are you actually concerned about my girlfriend? Or is this the set-up for a very elaborate joke?”

 

Lizzie frowns. “No, I was just wondering because Hope told me how today is-”

 

She stops herself short.

 

“What? What’s today?”

 

Her sister shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I thought you knew. I don’t think it’s my place to say.”

 

Josie is baffled. What could her sister possible know about Penelope Park that she doesn’t.

 

“God, Lizzie, why is everyone always so fucking cryptic?”  

 

Lizzie blanches. Maybe it’s because Josie isn’t one for swear words or maybe it’s because she can feel the way that Josie’s heart hurts right now. She hopes it’s the latter, because Josie isn’t sure how else to make her sister understand how she feels right now.

 

Josie hates being kept in the dark in general, but from Penelope of _all_ people. It stings in a way she can’t describe.

 

“Josie, I think you should talk to Penelope. But, maybe wait until tomorrow. I think you should just be there for her today."

 

Something in Lizzie’s tone makes Josie feel like she should listen.

 

But for the first time in her life, Josie is done listening.

 

* * *

 

Josie makes her way back to Penelope’s room in search of answers.

 

She finds more questions.

 

She finds an empty room and a half-written birthday card and an open diary resting on Penelope’s desk.

 

Josie knows that she shouldn’t be here right now, she knows she shouldn’t succumb to her curiosity at the sake of Penelope’s privacy.

 

But Penelope’s journal is _right there_ and Penelope is nowhere to be found and Josie is itching for answers.

 

So she picks up the journal.

 

Her eyes scan the page. She frowns because she doesn’t spy Penelope’s familiar cursive. In fact, she doesn’t recognize the scratchy handwriting at all.

 

Josie flips to a random page. She finds M.G.’s bold font.

 

Another page. Her sister’s dotted i’s.

 

Another page. Emma’s handwriting.

 

Another page. 

 

Josie’s heart stops.

 

Words from her own diary litter the parchment.

 

112 seconds.

 

This is how long it takes for Josie Saltzman to realize that she’s in love with a stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um so i realize most of y'all are fragile & were prob expecting fluff, but to be fair... it started out p fluffy... and then life took it's course...
> 
> anyhow,,, i'll see myself out :')
> 
> tweet me your feels @ sataninacape !! the narcissist in me absolutely loves reading your thoughts on my headassery, so don't hesitate to drop into my dms with strongly worded opinions :)


	10. seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiinVuzh4DA

When you’re seventeen years old, every little thing has the potential to make or break your world.

 

Rationally, Josie knows that this is because teenagers are still developing their prefrontal cortex.

 

Rationally, Josie knows that she should practice impulse control, hear Penelope out before coming to a conclusion. (To her credit, Josie does refrain from setting Penelope’s room on fire.)

 

But, then again, all sense of rationality flies out the window when you learn that your girlfriend is a hypocrite.

 

When Penelope finds her, Josie has skimmed over the intimate thoughts and homework assignments and love letters and to-do lists and margin doodles of countless classmates.

 

Josie’s head is spinning. She doesn’t understand how someone who spends Saturday tea preaching about respect and trust and mutuality can have no problem whatsoever so grossly invading people’s privacy.

 

She doesn’t understand how she can know so little about someone who knows so much about her.

 

A thought occurs to Josie and her heart stops because what if none of this is real?

 

What if Josie is just a piece in an elaborate game of whatever-the-fuck kind of chess Penelope Park is playing? What if Penelope read her diary and thought that Josie would be the perfect pawn?

 

What if all those times that Penelope knew exactly how Josie was feeling had nothing to do with their connection and everything to do with her journal?

 

Josie draws a sharp breath. “Is this why you’re so good at reading me? Because you’re _literally_ reading me?”   

 

She waits for the blink, the denial, the lies.

 

There is none.

 

“Josie, I can explain.”

 

Penelope is wearing her mask, her HWIC demeanor. Head high, eyes calculating, voice calm.

 

Josie hardly recognizes her.

 

Her stomach churns because she resents this version of Penelope Park.

 

She just wants the girl from this morning to flash her a kind smile and tug her into warm arms and tell her that this is all a big misunderstanding.

 

To crack a joke and convince Josie to play another song on the ukulele for her plants because _I swear, Jo, Perseus sprouted three more leaves since the last time you played_.  

 

To tell Josie that she has nothing to worry about, that Penelope would never do something so against everything she stands for.

 

But Penelope’s expression is neutral and Josie can’t believe she ever thought there was more than one version of Penelope Park.

 

Josie can’t believe she ever thought Penelope Park was more than a cunning girl that ruins lives in her spare time.

 

“Oh, really? So you haven’t been reading my journal?”

 

Josie thinks she sees Penelope’s lips dip, her face flinch, but then Josie blinks and Penelope’s features are unchanged. She looks unbothered.

 

Penelope sighs. “You caught me,” her eyebrows dance, shoulders squaring. “Yeah, I’ve been reading your journal, I’ve been reading _everyone’s_ journal. But I’m only using the information for good.”

 

“For _good_ ? Is that a joke, Penelope? You’ve been invading people’s privacy for _good_?”

 

“Is that so hard to believe, JoJo? Haven’t you ever wondered why I was such a bitch to Lizzie for no apparent reason?”

 

When Josie frowns, Penelope continues.

 

“After I handed those pens out last Christmas, right before elections for witch representative, Lizzie wrote in her diary about how insecure she was that no one was running against her. Your sister felt like everyone was handling her with fucking oven mitts because she thought people knew about her bipolar disorder. So I figured I would give her a run for her money, let her know that at least someone out there saw her as competition.”

 

Josie’s heart sinks. “Lizzie really wrote that?”

 

“See? I told you I’ve only been using the information for-”

 

Josie cuts her off.

 

“Oh my _god_ , Penelope, are you really trying to justify yourself right now? You had no business reading my sister’s personal thoughts. You had no business reading _my_ personal thoughts. Do you even realize how creepy that is? How fucked up _all_ of this is?” She tosses the journal on the desk and Penelope winces when it lands. “You’re always going on about the hypocrisy of this place, but do you even see the irony in that?”

 

Penelope opens her mouth again, but Josie isn’t finished.

 

She has so many feelings, so much to say, her lips are a leaky faucet and Josie doesn’t have the tools to fix it.

 

“Do you remember what you told me all those months ago? How fucking up doesn’t make you a bad person? How not understanding what you did wrong to begin with, not owning up to your actions is what makes you a bad person?”

 

Josie waits until green eyes greet hers to continue. “I’ve only ever been patient with you, Penelope. I didn’t ask questions, I didn’t make you uncomfortable. I appreciated that you did the same for me. But now I know that the reason you never had to ask is because you already had all the answers. My diary was supposed to be my safe space, Penelope. You read everything there was to know about me and for _what_ ? Was this just a game to you? Were _we_ just a game to you?”

 

Josie’s voice breaks and Penelope’s facade twitches. “You know that’s not true, JoJo.”

 

 _So apologize. Tell me you messed up, tell me you’re going to make it better_.

 

Penelope doesn’t say anything else. She just stares at Josie, lips parted and eyebrows scrunched.

 

Josie feels her lip quiver. “Why?”

 

“Why what?”

 

_Why do I feel like I don’t even know you?_

 

“Why do you have a fucking log of the entire school’s diaries, Penelope?”

 

Her gaze hardens. “I already told you, Josie.”

 

Except she didn’t.

 

“No, you didn’t,” Josie can’t help the desperation that slips out from between her lips. “You don’t tell me _anything_ , Pen.”

 

“Josie,” Penelope’s voice is a whisper. “You know that’s not true.”  

 

Her lips tug down. “Really? Then what’s today?”

 

The question catches her off guard. “What?”

 

“Why have you been so out of it today, Penelope? Why do you always get so _sad_? Does it have to do with your sister? Or with Parker?”

 

Josie can see the exact moment that Penelope’s walls go up.

 

“Jo, I really don’t want to talk ab-”

 

When Josie speaks again, her voice is small. “Why don’t you trust me?”

 

She doesn’t realize there are tears streaming down her cheeks until Penelope’s fingers are brushing them away.

 

“I _do_ , Josie. You know I do.”

 

Except she doesn’t.

 

“No, you don’t.”

 

Penelope has never trusted her.

 

And Josie was so blinded by the good parts of her company that she decided to ignore all the bad parts about their relationship.

 

Josie was so busy getting high and watching movies and reading books with her girlfriend that, somewhere along the way, it stopped mattering that Penelope never really talks about herself or her feelings.

 

It stopped mattering that Penelope Park only makes jokes and waters her plants and picks fights and talks about everyone and everything but herself.

 

But now that she realizes how little she really knows Penelope, Josie thinks she doesn’t trust her either.

 

And she thinks that maybe it’s okay that they don’t trust each other.

 

Maybe it’s okay that they both need time, need space.

 

Maybe it’s okay that they’re not right for each other right now.

 

Disney eyes water and Josie rests her forehead against Penelope’s.

 

“It’s okay,” Josie tells her. She means it.

 

Josie places a soft kiss against Penelope’s lips and she lets Penelope deepen it, caves into her touch. They lean into each other for just a minute before Josie pulls away.

 

She doesn’t need to say it out loud for Penelope to understand the finality of the kiss.

 

The _goodbye for now_.

 

Josie takes a step back, turning towards the door.

 

When Penelope speaks, her voice is unsteady. “Jo, don’t leave.”

 

And like all those other times, Penelope’s hand finds her wrist.

 

Only, this time, Josie slips free.

 

She doesn’t respond, doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t trust her voice. Josie just shuts the door behind her.

 

And then Penelope’s voice leaks out between the cracks and Josie can’t breathe.

 

She says it in a whisper but Josie hears it in a choir.

 

iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou

 

Josie’s heart stutters because this isn’t how this was supposed to go.

 

They were supposed to say it to each other’s faces, between kisses, between breaths.

 

Not between walls.

 

She so desperately wants to turn around, say it back, because she does too.

 

Josie Saltzman loves Penelope Park.

 

Except she isn’t even sure who Penelope Park really is.

 

Her knees lock and her hand finds the wall and it feels like her world is ending.

 

And maybe she’s being irrational right now, but maybe that’s allowed.

 

After all, Josie Saltzman is only seventeen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...  
> .....  
> ...... hi. 
> 
> this is p short & p rough but i have to be up for school in like four hours, so y'all better not come at me too hard :))
> 
> ALRIGHT so ik a lot of people think penelope's reading the diaries was not a big deal but imagine this:  
> somebody hacks your phone and reads all of your text messages and dms. how do you feel?  
> now imagine this:  
> your significant other has been reading all of your text messages and dms since before you started dating and you realize you still don't know their middle name. how do you feel?
> 
> drop a comment & lmk how much you hate my guts !! & if you want to scream at me on twitter, you can find me @ sataninacape :)


	11. selfless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mentions of suicide

Penelope Park is eight years old when she learns that love is admiration.

 

It’s a Thursday night, past her bedtime, and Penelope is watching a movie with her sister. She may not care much for Disney, but Penelope does care for buttery popcorn and Piper’s company.

 

They curl up in blankets and Penelope is halfway through a yawn when a pretty girl enters the screen. She has big eyes and a kind smile. Penelope is wide awake for the rest of the movie.

 

When Mulan swings a sword, Penelope’s jaw drops.

 

She turns to her older sister, wide-eyed.  

 

“Piper, I think I’m in love.”

 

Her sister doesn’t bat an eye at the declaration. She just turns to Penelope and flashes her a dimpled smile.

 

“With Mulan?”

 

Penelope nods solemnly.

 

“That’s great, Penny.”

 

She falls asleep with a smile on her face that night and dreams of saving the world with a Disney princess at her side.

 

* * *

 

 

Penelope Park is eleven years old when she learns that love is compromises.

 

It’s a Sunday evening and her parents are arguing in the kitchen. Like every other time, Penelope takes refuge in her siblings’ bedroom.

 

Piper is reading a chapter book by Parker’s crib, and Penelope tiptoes around the room, searching for stuffed animals to put on a puppet show for her brother.

 

She frowns when her parents’ voices ring out over Parker’s coos.

 

“Do you think they’re going to get a divorce?”

 

Piper looks up, and Penelope watches her lips tug down. “I hope so.”

 

She sounds too tired to be thirteen years old.

 

“Why?”

 

Her sister shrugs. “They’re not happy. Plus, all of my friends’ parents are divorced, and they get to celebrate Christmas twice.”

 

By the time Penelope has come to terms with Piper’s words, her parents are cracking jokes over burnt lasagna.

 

“Weren’t you guys were just yelling?” Penelope frowns. “I thought you were going to get a divorce.”

 

Her parents exchange knit brows and a worried look. Penelope huffs when her dad swoops her up in his arms, planting her on the kitchen counter.

 

“Penny, just because your mother and I argue, doesn’t mean we don’t love each other.”

 

She rolls her eyes. “That’s dumb. Why would you fight if you really love each other?”

 

Her mom steps forward, leaning into her dad’s side, and ruffles her hair. “Penelope, people fight because they have a difference in opinion, not because they don’t love each other. But only people who love each other are willing to put aside their differences and learn to compromise.”

 

Penelope blinks. Her father translates.

 

“Basically, what Mom’s trying to say is, we’re not getting a divorce. She’s also trying to tell you that we burnt dinner so we’re getting take out.”

 

They order pizza and Penelope laughs over her family’s antics. She falls asleep to forehead kisses and gentle whispers.

 

A year later, her parents file for divorce.

 

* * *

 

Penelope Park is fourteen years old when learns that love is friendship.

 

It’s a Tuesday afternoon and Tommy from her English class just gave her a box of chocolates and a note that read: Will you be my Valentine?

 

Tommy has a dimpled smile, red hair that shines orange under the sun, and a constellation of freckles between ocean eyes. He’s kind to Penelope. He always goes out of his way to hold the door open for her and offers her a different flavor of gum every day in class.

 

He’s the type of boy who picks you flowers and flashes you smiles for no reason whatsoever.

 

So when Tommy handed Penelope that note, she hesitates for a minute. She thinks it would be nice to fall in love with someone who’s already a friend.

 

But then Penelope remembers that love is also temporary, so she checks “no” and keeps the candy.

 

* * *

 

Penelope Park is sixteen years old when she learns that love is not confined to romance.

 

That heart break is not confined to romance.

 

It’s the middle of the night and Penelope is stumbling to the bathroom, cursing her small bladder.

 

She finds the door half open and the light on and an empty pill bottle on the counter and she’s no longer cursing her bladder.

 

The next few minutes are a blur of tears and magic. Penelope is sobbing, calling for her mother, whispering every spell she can to bring Piper back. Nothing works.

 

Two days after the funeral, Penelope find her sister’s journal.

 

She doesn’t understand how she knew so little about someone who knew so much about her.

 

Penelope blames herself. She blames her parents. They should have paid more attention.

 

When Penelope tells them this, her parents ship her off to boarding school.

 

She hates them for it. For everything.

 

But then Penelope meets Hope Mikaelson and Milton Greasley. They mend her heart with humor and feminism, respectively. They mend her heart with platonic love.

 

Still, Penelope misses her sister. Penelope misses Parker.

 

Parker who sends her stick figures and little notes in the mail. Parker who she hasn’t been able to look in the eyes since Piper passed away. Parker who thinks she abandoned him too.

 

It takes months for Penelope to stop blaming her parents. She wants to hate them for it, but she doesn’t. Not really.

 

Because Penelope knows that she can’t change the past.

 

So she spells an entire school’s worth of pens in order to change the future.

 

* * *

 

Penelope Park is seventeen years old when she learns that love is selfish.

 

It starts with a knock.

 

She figures it’s Hope, and she opens the door with a smirk, ready to give her shit about forgetting her key.

 

Except it’s not Hope. It’s Josie from Latin, with her Bambi eyes and pouty lips.

 

They’ve never really talked before, but Penelope has read her name in Josie’s handwriting enough times to figure that Josie knows exactly who she is.

 

And then Josie pretends she doesn’t and Penelope smirks some more.

 

She’s always loved a good challenge.

 

Of course, as it turns out, the only challenge when it comes to Josie Saltzman is trying not to fall head over heels for her.

 

Penelope fails. Or rather, she falls.

 

Stumbles some, and then trips altogether.

 

Scrapes her knees, too.

 

It’s a little ridiculous how unbalanced Penelope Park is when it comes to Josie Saltzman.

 

It’s also a little ridiculous how selfish Penelope Park is when it comes to Josie Saltzman.

 

How selfishly she consumes Josie’s entire life story without offering one in exchange.

 

How selfishly she cracks the door open and lets Josie in, only to shut her out whenever it’s convenient.

 

How selfishly she leads Josie on, lets her fall in love with a girl who isn’t ready to love her back.

 

Too bad love is also impatient.

 

* * *

 

It’s a week before graduation and Josie still hasn’t looked her way. She hasn’t spared her a single glance since the day that Penelope let her walk away, and Penelope doesn’t blame her.

 

But that doesn’t mean she can’t miss her.

 

Josie was her best friend before she was her girlfriend and Penelope thinks that losing her friend hurt tenfold more than losing her lover.

 

Sometimes, Penelope’s brain short circuits and she forgets that they don’t talk anymore.

 

Like the day her acceptance letter arrives in the mail and Penelope’s first thought is to find Josie to tell her the news. She just barely stops herself short of a knock.

 

When Penelope retreats to her room, she places the letter on her desk and thinks back to all those months ago, when Josie was reading over her college applications, joking that Penelope should just fail a few classes so they could graduate the same year. Penelope remembers teasing her, wondering out loud how Josie would survive a year without Penelope at her side.

 

Josie had rolled her eyes, told Penelope that she would be just fine without her.

 

Back then, Josie was just joking. Seeing her now, Penelope thinks she couldn’t have been more right.

 

Every day, Penelope watches as Josie shows everyone the sides of her that only Penelope used to see.

 

Every day, Penelope watches as Josie becomes the person she’s always wanted to be.

 

Every day, Penelope watches as Josie builds a life of her own.

 

A life without Penelope Park.

 

Some days, she’s hurt. Other days, she’s proud. Most days, Penelope just wants to apologize.

 

So the day of graduation, Penelope writes a letter.

 

She tells Josie about the university she plans to attend back home in upstate New York. She tells Josie that their law program is excellent and it’s only an hour drive to visit her brother. She tells Josie that she’s still in love with her.

 

And then Penelope trashes the letter and writes a new one.

 

She tells Josie that she’s studying abroad. She tells Josie that she’s sorry. She tells Josie that she should move on.

 

Penelope slips the letter under her door, grabs her suitcases, and walks away.

 

Because when Penelope Park is eighteen years old, she learns that, above all else, love is selfless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, here's the number for the national suicide prevention lifeline: 1-800-273-8255  
> please use it if you need it.
> 
>  
> 
> talk to me on twitter @sataninacape


	12. i know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> buckle the h*ck up bc there is so much angst, like the angstiest of angst, you have no idea what's coming your way

They’re twenty-one when they find their way back to each other.

 

It’s spring of her final year in university and Josie is taking a stroll around the city.

 

She’s basking in the sun and smiling at the locals, reminiscing on all those years that her world was confined to Mystic Falls, when she spies a violin player busking on the sidewalk.

 

Although Josie isn’t especially fond of classical music, she has time on her hands and no destination in mind, so she takes a detour and joins the crowd. She claims a spot between a group of school kids and an elderly couple, admiring the color of the instrument and the echo of its sound. The crowd is calm as the musician works her magic.

 

Josie listens intently, watching bodies sway to the notes. Sometime between Mozart and Beethoven, her gaze wanders and she spots a lone plant sprouting from a crack in the sidewalk.

 

It has three leaves and it’s barely upright. Josie’s breath catches anyway.

 

Because four years later and the sight of a green leaves or the smell of lavender is all it takes for memories of Penelope Park to invade her brain.

 

Well, not exactly _invade_ her brain, because that would imply that Penelope’s being isn’t forever etched into her world.

 

That Penelope’s Disney eyes aren’t forever lingering in the back of her mind. That Penelope’s raspy voice isn’t forever ringing in her ears. That Penelope’s soft touch isn’t forever ghosting her skin.  

 

Josie stares at the plant and wonders what Penelope would name this one. ( _Waldo_ , maybe. It looks a lot like a Waldo.)

 

Josie thinks back to what she told Penelope all those years ago. Something about being the metaphorical water to her plant. Something about being all she needed to grow.

 

At the time, Josie believed every word she said, through and through.

 

And then Penelope left and Josie realize that, once again, the HWIC managed to prove her wrong.

 

Maybe Penelope was her first rainy day, but she was so far from being Josie’s last. Because as soon as Josie started looking, she found water in everyone and everything around her. She found water in her family and in her friends. She found water in herself.

 

And as much as Josie wants to hate Penelope for breaking her heart, for leaving without a proper goodbye, for teaching her what loss feels like, Josie doesn’t. She never did.

 

Not even when she was seventeen and clutching a too-short letter in her hand, searching for an explanation other than “botany school in Belgium.”

 

Not even when she was eighteen and boarding a plane to Europe, leaving her life behind in the hopes of running into a girl who ran away from her.

 

Not even when she was nineteen and having an emotional breakdown between puffs of pot and reruns of Inspector Gadget.

 

Not even when she was twenty and still incapable of loving someone who doesn’t sing to their plants or fall asleep reading books.

 

Because Penelope Park may have taught Josie what loss is, but she also taught her what love is.

 

First, Penelope taught her what it means to love someone else.

 

Then, Penelope taught her what it means to redirect that energy into loving yourself.

 

So even though Josie came to Belgium in the hopes of finding her ex, maybe she’s okay with just finding herself instead.

 

Maybe she’s thankful to Penelope for giving her the incentive to be selfish and maybe she’s finally content with being on her own.

 

The song is over and Josie is buzzing with tranquility.

 

As she turns to leave, her shoulder knocks against a stranger’s.

 

“I’m so sorry, I-”

 

It’s not a stranger. It’s Penelope Park, amusement in her eyes, ass on the ground.

 

Of course. _Of course_. As soon as Josie decides she’s truly ready to move on, Penelope Park decides to finally, and literally, bump into her on the streets of Belgium.

 

The audacity of this witch.

 

Josie doesn’t offer her a hand. She figures her mind is playing tricks on her as per usual, pretending every person she meets has green eyes and a signature smirk.

 

And then the Penelope Park lookalike speaks.

 

“JoJo?”

 

 _Oh_.

 

Fuck. Maybe she’s not a lookalike after all.

 

Josie’s heart pounds and her lips part and there are a million and one things she could do in this moment.

 

She could yell, or scoff, or pull a Penelope and just run away.

 

Josie is leaning towards the latter, but then she recalls the night they first met and it would be a disservice not to seize the opportunity before her.

 

“You know,” Josie stretches out her hand, “I’ve had plenty of girls fall for me before, but none as quickly as you.”

 

Their fingers greet and Penelope laughs and Josie is convinced that this is all a dream.

 

The electricity in their touch and the warmth in her fingers say otherwise.

 

“Recycling my old pick-up lines? That’s cute, Jo.”

 

Penelope looks a lot like she did four years ago. Same Disney eyes, same cropped hair, same flushed cheeks.

 

But something in her aura is changed. She seems gentler, maybe. More at peace.

 

Josie blinks. She thinks it’s her turn to speak.

 

“Penelope Park,” the name is butter on her tongue. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I just graduated. Figured I’d take a look at the world,” Penelope responds, eyes shining. “What are _you_ doing here?”

 

“That’s great,” Josie tells her, genuinely. “I go to school here.”

 

Penelope’s lips quirk. “Yeah?”

 

Josie nods and even though she’s never been too keen of small talk, she thinks she doesn’t mind this. Doesn’t mind the way Penelope regards her intently, provides her with her undivided attention.

 

“So botany school in Belgium was a lie then?”

 

Josie blanches at her own words. She isn’t too sure how the question maneuvered its way out of her lips, but she isn’t exactly sorry she asked it either because the least Josie deserves is an explanation.

 

She waits for the other girl to frown, to put her walls up, to play it off as a joke.

 

When Penelope does none of the above, Josie’s admittedly caught off guard.

 

“I’m really sorry, Josie. About lying, and leaving, and everything, really.”

 

“You are?” Josie hates the way her breath hitches, but she can’t help herself.

 

Even though Josie has had time to heal, she’s always felt the lack of closure that Penelope left her with, and hearing Penelope apologize feels like the first step of _many_ , but a step nonetheless.

 

Still, Josie might be mature enough to forgive, but she can’t exactly forget all the heartache and trust issues Penelope left her with.

 

Again, Josie’s lips disobey her will and she relays this information to Penelope.

 

The other girl just listens and nods.

 

“I’m sorry,” she says again. “Honestly. I never meant to hurt you, Jo.”

 

“Then what _did_ you mean to do?”

 

Penelope’s brows furrow and Josie explains.

 

“With the journal, I mean. You never told me why you were, you know, spying or whatever.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Josie waits for the door to close, for Penelope to change the topic.

 

Instead, she says, “It’s kind of a long story. Do you mind if we sit down somewhere? Grab some coffee?”

 

Josie blinks. “Sure. I know a place around the corner.”

 

Penelope smiles at her. Soft lips, kind eyes. Josie’s heart dips because she really spent the last four years missing out on this.

 

They start walking, the violinist’s bow still serving background music, but all Josie can hear is the sound of her beating heart.

 

Her eyes catch Penelope’s and it isn’t until the other girl glances down, until Josie follows her gaze, that she realizes their hands are still tangled.

 

It isn’t until Penelope blushes that Josie realizes she doesn’t want to let go.

 

Not now, not ever.

 

* * *

 

Penelope still remembers her coffee order. To a tee. (Pun intended.)

 

They find a table outside, and Penelope doesn’t bother beating around the bush.

 

She dives headfirst into an explanation, an elaborate apology, and every other secret she kept from Josie. She tells Josie about her family, her childhood, her adolescence, her siblings, her trust issues.

 

Josie just stares because she thinks that this is the longest she’s ever heard Penelope talk about herself.

 

“I’m sorry,” Penelope concludes again. “I know now that good intentions are meaningless when they’re poorly executed, but we were only seventeen back then, Jo. I was naive and it was so wrong of me to jump into a relationship when I wasn’t ready for one.”

 

Josie nods, still reeling from everything that Penelope has told her. The other girl looks so vulnerable, Josie can’t help but rest her hand out on the table, there if Penelope is willing to take it.

 

“You’re right. That wasn’t your best decision, Pen, but, honestly, what teenager _is_ ready for a relationship? It’s hard enough to figure yourself out, but having to navigate someone else at the same time? I don’t know how people do it.”

 

Penelope hums, and her hand slips on top of Josie’s. Josie stops breathing and it feels like they’re seventeen and back in her dorm room.

 

“That’s true, but I think every relationship is different. I mean, just look at Hope and Lizzie.”

 

“You heard the news?”

 

The other girl nods. “Hope and I talk every now and then. Your sister still hates my guts though, so not very often. Isn’t it crazy that they’re actually _engaged_? I always told Hope she should just put a ring on it already, but who would have thought she’d actually suck it up and go through with it.”

 

Josie smiles. She remembers her sister’s phone call that night, all breathless and starstruck. Lizzie had been planning to propose, but Hope beat her to it, and Josie remembers the flood of texts she responded to before, during, and after she went through with it.

 

She remembers feeling happy for them, truly, but something in her throat seized when she heard the news.

 

They sit there in silence, just staring and thinking, until Josie makes a move to stand. She gathers her trash and Penelope mirrors her.

 

“Do you ever think about how-”

 

“That could have been us?”

 

Penelope recycles her empty coffee cup and Josie follows suit.

 

Of course they’re on the same wavelength, as if it’s been no time at all.

 

Josie nods. “Yeah.”

 

The girls make their way to the front door and Penelope holds the door open for Josie.

 

“You know,” a pause, “that could still be us.”

 

Penelope’s fingers find her own, the cold metal of her rings sending tingles up her arm. Josie can’t help the blush that spreads across her cheeks.

 

“Jeez, Pen, proposing already? Ask a girl out on a date first.”

 

“Was that not a date?”

 

Josie considers this, bumping her shoulder against Penelope’s. “Alright, a second date, I mean.”

 

“And a third?”

 

“Depends on whether or not we sleep together on the second date. You know, no point in stringing you along after we-"

 

Penelope stops abruptly and Josie quits rambling.

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

Josie answers with closed lips.

 

Her hand finds the back of Penelope’s neck and Penelope’s chin tilts up, eyelashes fluttering.

 

Josie can’t help but smile into their kiss because Penelope still smells like cotton and affection and everything about this moment, this feeling, is just _right_.

 

And then a thought occurs to Josie and she pulls back.

 

“What is it, Jo? Did I do somethi-”

 

Josie shakes her head. “No, I was just- I was thinking about our first kiss, when you moved Bob and them, and I was just wondering, what ever happened to them?”

 

The other girl quirks her head. “What do you mean?”

 

“Your plants. How did you fly them up to New York with you?”

 

Green eyes blink. And then Penelope is laughing and Josie is grinning.

 

“Pen, I’m serious. I’ve always wondered how you went about that.”

 

Penelope places a kiss to Josie’s lips, like she’s trying to cram four years worth of kisses into one breath, and then she pulls back.

 

“My airline didn’t allow plants as carry-ons, so I asked my parents’ chauffeur to drive us up.”

 

Josie snorts. “You sat in a car for _seven_ hours just so you could take your plants home?”

 

“They’re my children, JoJo. You know I would do anything for them.”

 

“You’re ridiculous.”

 

Penelope threads her fingers in Josie’s hair.

 

“Please, you know you love it when I talk plant.”

 

_I do. I love it. I love you._

 

But maybe it’s too soon for i-love-you, so Josie settles for second best.

 

She rolls her eyes. “Shut up, Pen. I hate you.”

 

Plush lips greet hers. “I know.”

 

Then they’re kissing again, in some alleyway in the middle of Belgium and, honestly, Josie has no idea what this means.

 

She has no idea where they’re supposed to go from here. Or who they are to each other. Or what they’ll be in the future.

 

All she knows is, even after all this time, Penelope Park still makes her heart stutter.

 

And for right here, right now, that’s more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end :)
> 
>  
> 
> @ miss julie plec:
> 
> ma'am, this is called a haPpY eNDinG. please take notes.
> 
> :')
> 
> jokes aside, this fic has been a blast to write & i'm so glad y'all have enjoyed it as much as i have! 
> 
> find me on twitter @ sataninacape if you want to validate my existence !!! slide into my dms with a meme or two and we are automatically friends, no questions asked!


	13. a/n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! To clarify, this is not an actual update, just an extremely long-winded author’s note explaining the underlying themes I hoped to convey. I encourage you to read this with an open mind, but I also realize that you are entitled to your own opinions :)

Alright, so I know a lot of people are firm believers of letting art speak for itself, but I am not one of those people.

Here’s the tea: This fic was honestly rushed and could have been so much better had I chosen to go about it more diligently, but I frankly just wanted to get it all up before school consumed me whole again. That said, I realize I could have put much more thought into it and better expanded on certain issues at times.  

So I've created a literal bullet-point list of all the things I want you to take away from this fic (in no particular order).

 

**1\. Accountability**

This is one of the many things that I felt was not emphasized enough in the show. I realize that the characters are only teenagers who are bound to screw up at one point or another, but that doesn’t mean there should be no acknowledgement regarding the extent of their mistakes. I adore both Josie and Penelope, but their characters are flawed and there is not enough conversation about their mistakes.

Here’s some more tea:

Setting fire to things = not hot (metaphorically, of course)

Spying on your classmates = very creepy

Making mistakes = admittedly, something that every one does, but should not be excused

As Penelope says in Chapter 12: “good intentions are meaningless when they’re poorly executed.” I wrote Penelope’s backstory and Josie’s motives in order to give their actions an explanation but really hope you all didn't think I was trying to dismiss them altogether.

Moving forward, I encourage you to always hold yourself and those around you accountable for mistakes.

I encourage you to recognize your faults, understand the harm you’ve caused, take ownership of your actions, and work on bettering yourself in the future.

Obviously, this is  _much_  easier said than done, and I for one could definitely spend more time practicing what I preach, but the first step to a solution is simply recognizing the problem.

 

 **2\. Consent**  

In case you don’t recall, in the first few chapters, Penelope is particularly hesitant to touch Josie without her permission, and this theme persists all the way until Chapter 12 (i.e. “Can I kiss you?”).

The reason I had the characters so blatantly practice consent is because this is yet another aspect that I wish the show had been particularly conscious of. Truthfully, there is little to no conversation regarding consent in media in general, but especially in media that has a fanbase of mostly young and mostly impressionable people. Today's youth is often socialized to internalize a lack of consent because, hey, if our favorite ship doesn’t ask each other for permission, it must be fine if someone touches me, or if I touch someone else, without consent, right? (This is a rhetorical question, but the answer is: wrong.)

The next time you watch an intimate scene, I encourage you to ask yourself the following questions:

  * Is _verbal_ consent given or asked for?
  * Is there persistence or coercion of any sort?
  * Are the characters involved sober? (Note: people cannot legally consent to sexual activity when they are intoxicated.)



These are only a few of the many questions that should be addressed when it comes to consent, and the number of times that I’ve watched a show or read a book and answered no to these questions is a little alarming.

If you don’t think that this is a problem, maybe consider the fact that your lack of acknowledgement of this problem _is_ the problem (see: willful blindness).

In the future, I hope you recognize how consent, or the lack thereof, plays a role in the media and, more importantly, in your personal life.

 

****3\. Self-love** **

We live in a society that treats romantic relationships as the pinnacle of our lives, as the ultimate goal.

But here’s the most scorching tea of all: There is nothing selfish in prioritizing your own needs. There is nothing shameful in being content by yourself.

The end goal should not be to love someone else, but to love yourself first.

This is something that both Josie and Penelope realize in their time apart, and this is something that I hope you take with you as well.

 

****4\. Mental Health** **

I was hesitant to follow through with Piper’s storyline because I realize that suicide is not a light topic, and I sincerely hope it wasn’t triggering to any of you.

That said, if you ever feel like you’re in a bad place, please do _not_ hesitate to reach out to someone. You have friends and family and fan fiction writers who care about you :)

 

****5\. Respect, Mutuality, Love, and Feminism** **

“When we accept that true love is rooted in recognition and acceptance, that love combines acknowledgment, care, responsibility, commitment, and knowledge, we understand there can be no love without justice. With that awareness comes the understanding that love has the power to transform us, giving us the strength to oppose domination. To choose feminist politics, then, is a choice to love” (hooks [104](https://excoradfeminisms.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/bell_hooks-feminism_is_for_everybody.pdf)).

This is one of the last pieces I read in my GWSS class, and it is easily one of my favorite.

If you, like me a few months ago, have little knowledge of the feminist movement and feminist thinking beyond tumblr posts and tweets that use the word “patriarchy”, then this quote is probably not something you’d think to associate with feminism.

 _Feminism_. The ultimate f-word. It sounds so political and loaded and intimidating, right?

My final cup of tea: Everything is political and loaded and intimidating.

What the heck does that mean? Are you saying _Legacies_ is political too?

Yes. Here’s why:

 

 **M** **edia does not just reflect, but further** **_creates_ ** **our reality.**

(This is definitely debatable, and my expanding on a argument that Alison Happel and Jennifer Esposito make in “Vampires and Vixens,” when they claim that _Twilight_ teaches young girls to romanticize sexualized violence, and perpetuates enlightened sexism by suggesting that we live in a post-feminist era.)

Let me explain with a personal example.

The other day, I was watching one of my favorite movies from when I was younger. I haven’t seen this movie in years, so when I watched it with my friends, who were seeing it for the first time, I tried to watch it from their point of view, with fresh eyes.

Here’s what I learned: The main character of the film is blatantly rude, has no respect for personal space or consent, and stalks his female love interest on multiple occasions. The female character falls madly in love with him anyway.

The most troublesome part for me wasn’t just realizing how problematic the hero, and frankly the entire plot, is, but moreover realizing how long I had spent romanticizing his faults. Growing up, I thought I was supposed to be attracted to a guy that is the embodiment of all things toxic. I also imagine that the boys who watched this film grew up internalizing the male character’s personality and felt pressured to act accordingly.

Considering it’s a Bollywood film from the 90s, there was honestly a lot wrong with the movie, including the blatant emphasis of gender roles, male-dominance, female objectification, heteronormativity, lack of consent, among _many_ other things.

 

So what? Why should I care? What does this mean? What exactly is at stake when a piece of media perpetuates heteropatriarchal values?

Beyond a shitty piece of media, we’re left with a culture that normalizes and relies on these values.

 

Okay, cool. So, what now? How do we fix this?

Excellent question, so glad you asked.

 

Here is my call to action: **Critique the media you consume.**

As an audience, we should recognize when our favorite shows and our go-to pop songs and our childhood books normalize things that are _not_ okay.

If you feel uncomfortable with something a character says or does, don’t brush it off. Ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable, determine the underlying issues, and search for a solution.

So, please- critique this fic, critique Legacies, critique everything you are ever exposed to.

Because critiquing the media we consume is not faulting the media itself. It’s recognizing the fundamental flaws in our society, the very ones that our favorites shows just so happen to emphasize, intentionally or not.

 

That said, I am by no means encouraging you to bash or send hate towards said media. In writing this fic, I realized that it takes tenfold more time and effort to create media than it does to consume it, so I have the utmost respect for content creators, Julie Plec included.

 

It’s so easy to get caught up in hating something (Legacies) because of its flaws (sending our girl to Belgium), but, to steal a quote from Chapter 12:

“Penelope Park may have taught Josie what loss is, but she also taught her what love is.”

Now, let’s replace Penelope Park with //Julie Plec// and Josie with //all of us// and be thankful for the wholesome community that Legacies is responsible for creating :)

 

* * *

  

Finally, in regards to this fic and future works:

I will likely not be writing an epilogue or a sequel, because Jo and Pen making out in the middle of Belgium felt pretty conclusive to me. But then again, you never know when inspiration and plot ideas will strike!

However, I definitely hope to continue writing for Posie, and fully intend to push out one shots in my spare time.

In the meantime, I encourage you to read and appreciate all the other amazing fics on this site!

If you’ve read everything there is to read, then I suggest you take a look beyond your device.

As someone who’s always been a bit of a social media ghost up until this fic, I had no idea how consuming and exhausting the virtual world can be.

 

I encourage you, and myself lol, to take a walk outside and feel the world around you.

Maybe you’ll find your very own plant-loving Penelope Park.

Or better yet, you might just find yourself :)

 

(If you think that’s a load of bullshit and still prefer your phone, then, by all means, feel free to lurk on my twitter @ sataninacape)

 

I’ll leave you with another hooks quote:

“The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am by no means an expert in anything at all whatsoever, so I take full ownership of my opinions!  
> In case I have ever written or said or done anything to offend you, I sincerely apologize.  
> Hope your day/night treats you well!


	14. the homomatriarchy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an epilogue in which penelope park is a wholesome dork

It takes Hope and Lizzie four years after their engagement to finally get married and it takes Penelope and Josie two months after the wedding to finally find the time to visit their new place.

 

Even though it’s only a twenty minute drive from their own apartment, between Josie’s new teaching gig and Penelope’s final year in law school, the girls hardly have time for each other, much less others.

 

But last week, Hope called, insisting on a reunion, so here they are, standing in front of a chic brick house. One of Penelope’s hands is occupied with a plant, and the other is holding Josie’s.

 

They hesitate for a moment before Josie reaches forward to ring the doorbell, knocking her hip against her girlfriend’s.

 

“I can’t believe you somehow convinced me that an Aloe actually constitutes as a housewarming present.”

 

Penelope’s brows dance, a scoff escaping her lips. “Oh _please_ , Jo, don’t even act like you weren’t the one who suggested a houseplant to begin wi-”

 

The door opens and their banter is cut short.

 

“Josie,” Lizzie pulls her twin into a bone-crushing hug, and Josie drops Penelope’s hand to reciprocate.

 

Penelope smiles, rolling her eyes a little at the fact that the sisters are fussing over each other as if they haven’t seen each other in ages. In reality, they saw each other just last weekend when Josie picked up the newlyweds from the airport after their honeymoon to Maui.

 

Hope appears behind Lizzie, and Josie shifts to hug the other girl, so Penelope steps forward and holds the plant out to the blonde.

 

“Penelope,” Lizzie’s tone adopts the playful malice the pair have come to perfect over the years. “How thoughtful of you to bring us a… plant. Nice to see you're still obsessed with overgrown broccoli.”

 

Lizzie accepts the gift and Penelope mimics her tone.

 

“You’re _so_ welcome, Lizzie. Nice to see you're still obsessed with channeling your inner mayonnaise. A shame even Hawaii couldn’t tan your impenetrably pale complexion.”

 

“ _Penelope_ ,” Josie scolds between her conversation with Hope.

 

Lizzie just lets out a scoff and rolls her eyes, setting the plant on a table.

 

Penelope turns to her girlfriend. “JoJo, you know I don’t tolerate hate speech. _Especially_ not when it’s directed at my babies.”

 

Lizzie huffs something with the word “ironic” and Hope laughs, shifting to greet her friend.

 

“Careful, Park, your dork is showing.”

 

“Alright, Mikaelson, no need to make fun of me just because I insulted your _wife_.”

 

Penelope cackles and Hope just sighs, exasperated. 

 

“Penelope, how many times do we have to go over this? Calling Lizzie my wife _isn’t_ an insult.”

 

The green-eyed girl pouts. “Gosh, Hope, can’t a girl just tease her best friend?”

 

“For being _married_?”

 

“Fine, have it your way,” Penelope adopts faux-enthusiasm before continuing, her voice oozing with sarcasm. “ _So_ great to see you, Hope. How’s married life treating you? Tell me _everything_. How was the honeymoon? What’s the postmarital sex like?”

 

“ _Penelope_ ,” Josie scolds again, this time from Lizzie’s side.

 

The girls make eye-contact and Penelope flashes Josie a cheeky smile. _I’m just fucking with them, Jo_.

 

Josie rolls her eyes because her girlfriend is a child and she doesn’t even know how to hate her for it. _You’re impossible, Penelope Park._

 

Penelope winks. _You love it_.

 

Josie huffs. _I know_.

 

* * *

 

An hour later, the girls are gathered in the kitchen, a pot of tea brewing on the stove and a banana creme pie baking in the oven.

 

Josie is sitting up on the counter, observing her sister’s domestic life with a smile. Penelope’s back is pressed into her sweater, and Josie’s legs are on either side of Penelope’s frame.

 

The smell of baked goods invades her senses and Penelope hums as Josie’s fingers absentmindedly braid and unbraid strands of her soft hair.

 

“So, have you guys decided yet?”

 

Hope quirks her head at Penelope’s question.

 

“On your last name.”

 

Josie perks up immediately. “I vote Lizzie [Mikaelson](https://twitter.com/posiefilms/status/1113756101009215488). You’d be crazy to pass up the power of that surname, Liz.”

 

Lizzie and Hope share an amused look.

 

“We were thinking of hyphenating. Or maybe a mashup, you know?”

 

Penelope snorts, her fingertips tapping out Morse Code on Josie’s knee.

 

“Like _Mikaelman_? Lizzie and Hope _Mikaelman_? Okay, now you guys are practically begging for me to make fun of you.”

 

Hope opens her mouth to interject, but Penelope continues.

 

“Honestly, Hope, I vote Saltzman. Hope Saltzman has a nice ring to it, and anyway, you’d be crazy to pass up the opportunity to have the same last name as me.”

 

There’s a pause and everyone digests Penelope’s words. Josie’s heart stops for a second and her fingers fall from Penelope’s hair.

 

“So,” Lizzie’s eyes glint with amusement. “You finally put a ring on it, then?”

 

Her girlfriend’s head bobs and Josie retracts because _what the fuck_? _Did Penelope somehow propose without Josie realizing it?_

 

“Yep,” Penelope pops the ‘p’. “Show them the ring, babe.”

 

Penelope reaches for Josie’s hand and when she realizes there’s no band on her fingers, Penelope backtracks.

 

“ _Oh_ , fuck. I guess that’s what I forgot to do last night.”

 

Josie stares, stunned, and her heart is stuttering and she waits for Penelope to drop to her knee or to pinch her because this is all a dream.

 

“What?” Her breath is caught in her throat.

 

“I’m kidding,” Penelope’s eyes are wide and Josie’s stomach drops. “I was just messing with you, JoJo.”

 

Right. Obviously. Josie scolds herself for getting her hopes up because _of course_ it’s a joke

 

Because that’s all Penelope does when Josie wants to talk about their future together. Joke. Or get political.

 

(Exhibit A: _“How many kids do you want?”_

 

_“Who needs kids? Aren’t our plants enough?”_

 

Exhibit B: _“Do you ever want to get married”_

 

 _“Only when marriage is no longer an oppressive institution that suggests relationships are only legitimate once they’re approved by the church and the state. And don’t even get me started on the history of female objectification, treating women as passive property, and the social construction of virginity, because, like, marriage practically instigated[the purity myth](https://www.amazon.com/Purity-Myth-Americas-Obsession-Virginity/dp/1580053149). Back in the Middle Ages, women, particularly virgin women, were used as breeding stock to ensure their husbands’ kinship so that there would be no question regarding the paternity of their offspring. Isn’t that fucked up? Do you really want to give in to something with such an oppressive history?” _)

 

Josie sighs, gesturing for Penelope to move so she can slip off the counter.

 

“Good one, Pen. You really had me for a second there.”

 

Penelope frowns, her lips parting, but Josie shakes her head a little.

 

“Hey, Liz, do you mind giving me a tour of this place? I still haven’t seen upstairs.”

 

Lizzie obliges immediately, but Penelope’s fingers tug gently at Josie’s wrist.

 

“Jo, I didn’t-”

 

Josie cuts Penelope short by placing a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth. “It’s fine, Penelope. I just want to catch up with my sister, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

Penelope lets go and Josie rounds the corner.

 

Hope is staring at her with high brows, pink lips pressed together.

 

“Don’t say it,” Penelope hisses. “I’m an idiot and I can’t believe I forgot to propose either.”

 

* * *

 

After dinner, Penelope fakes a few yawns and nods eagerly when Josie suggest they leave if she’s tired.

 

“Good luck,” Hope tells Penelope as Josie slips into their car.

 

Lizzie cuts in before Penelope can respond.

 

“If you hurt my sister again, I will _not_ hesitate to hurt you, Park.”

 

Penelope flinches at Lizzie’s threat. There’s no playfulness in her tone, just concern, and Penelope hates that she’s given Lizzie a valid reason to worry, but she has and she knows it.

 

“I love her, Lizzie,” Penelope promises.

 

Lizzie shakes her head. “I know, Penelope, but sometimes that’s not enough.”

 

Penelope considers her words, choses her own carefully. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re right. I promise I’ll try not to hurt her, alright?”

 

The blonde nods once and Penelope turns to leave.

 

“Hey, wait,” Lizzie voice rings after her. “Josie said you have this thing about naming your plants. Thoughts on Theodosia?”

 

Penelope wrinkles her nose. “A little extra if you ask me, but your kid, your call. Just make sure not to water her too much or too little and call me if you need help changing her soil.”

 

Lizzie and Hope exchange an amused look.

 

“You’re such a dork, Penelope Park,” Hope calls after her.

 

Penelope opens the car door.

 

“Says you, Hope _Mikaelman_.”

 

* * *

 

Josie is quiet on the way back home. Not cold or tense. Just pensive.

 

Penelope despises the silence, comfortable or not, so she fills the air by blasting 90s throwbacks.

 

An NSYNC hit starts playing and Penelope recognizes it as the same song they sang along to all those years ago in a 5 a.m. daze.

 

Josie must recognize it too, because she turns up the volume and next thing Penelope knows, they’re singing at the top of their lungs, windows down, faces flushed.

 

They reach a red light and Penelope busts out some absurd dance moves, all shimmies and head bops, because she knows that Josie can’t resist her when she gets jiggy with it.

 

The song ends and Josie is giggling and Penelope is grinning. Before the light can turn green, Penelope leans over the console for a kiss.

 

“I love you,” Penelope reminds Josie when she pulls away.

 

“I love you too,” Josie responds. A pause. “Even if you’re a total idiot sometimes.”

 

“You love me _because_ I’m an idiot, Jo.”

 

Another kiss. Another breath. Another heartbeat.

 

“You’re right.”

 

The stoplight changes colors and Penelope’s heart accelerates along with the car because she can’t wait to marry this girl.

 

* * *

 

“Do you remember that time I asked you if you’ve ever wondered what a homomatriarchy looks like?”

 

They’re lounging on the couch, Josie’s head resting on Penelope’s collarbones, arms encompassing her torso. A Netflix show is playing on the t.v. and a bowl of popcorn is resting on the table.

 

“Hm?”

 

Josie is clearly half-asleep and Penelope thinks that maybe she should just wait until tomorrow. Until Josie is more awake, until Penelope’s heart isn’t beating quite so fast.

 

But Penelope can’t wait any longer. Her stomach is littered with butterflies and her palms are sweating and she needs to do this now.

 

Penelope shifts so Josie is forced to lift her head. She looks disoriented and a little annoyed and absolutely adorable and Penelope can’t help but press her lips against Josie’s.

 

Josie doesn’t miss a beat before reciprocating and Penelope gets lost in her skin, her touch, for a minute before pulling back. She rests her forehead against Josie’s.

 

Penelope repeats her question and Josie laughs. Her Bambi eyes are a little less sleepy, but just as dreamy.

 

“Of course I remember, Pen. I think that was the night I started to fall in love with you.”

 

Josie rarely admits things like this, rarely allows herself to be vulnerable, so Penelope’s eyebrows raise and she revels in Josie’s words.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Mmhm.”

 

Pink lips find her own and Penelope closes her eyes, inhaling the familiar scent of peachy body soap. Josie’s tongue dips against hers and Penelope’s hands run up her back and she could do this for hours, really, and _fuck_. No wonder she forgot to propose last night.

 

Against every rational cell in her body, Penelope tilts her head back. Of course, Josie takes this as a sign to kiss her neck instead and Penelope groans because this girl is really making it impossible for her to propose.

 

“Josie.”

 

“Penelope?”

 

“ _Jo_.”

 

The other girl finally pauses and Penelope lets her eyes rest for a minute before finally opening them.

 

Brown eyes stare back, kind and curious.

 

“Remember how I asked you if you wanted to find out?”

 

“Find out what?”

 

“Find out what a homomatriarchy looks like.”

 

Josie’s eyebrows are scrunched together, her head tilted in a question. “Yeah?”

 

Penelope takes a deep breath. “Do you still want to find out?”

 

“What are you saying?”

 

“Do you remember what you asked me after I asked you whether or not you wanted to-”

 

“Penelope, you know I love it when you get all poetic, but for fucksake, please stop speaking in riddles.”

 

Penelope lets out a soft laugh because maybe she’s a little flustered and maybe she still gets a rush every time Josie curses.

 

“Josie Saltzman.” The girl in question purses her lips. “Do you want a build a homomatriarchy with me?”

 

Something must finally click because Josie’s eyebrows lift and her lips part.

 

“Penelope Park, is this your way of finally proposing?”

 

Penelope nods exasperatedly and she waits for the _yes_ , _fuck yes_ , but it never comes.

 

Instead, Josie is shooting her the stink-eye. “Are you just messing with me again?”

 

“What? No, Josie, I-”

 

“This isn’t funny, Pen. The least you could do is invest in a fake ring if you’re going to prank me right.”

 

 _Huh. S_ o that’s what she forgot.

 

Penelope stands abruptly, making the way to the kitchen and grabbing the ring from its hiding place in a box of Josie’s least favorite cereal.

 

When she comes back, Josie looks appalled. When Penelope drops to her knee, Josie looks even more appalled.

 

“This is a joke, right?” Josie’s voice is so quiet, Penelope strains to hear her. “This is the part where you tell me you’re just kidding and that you don’t actually want to get married because marriage is an oppressive-”

 

“ _JoJo_ , please stop talking, I had a whole speech planned.”

 

Josie pauses and Penelope laughs because she suddenly can’t remember a word she wanted to say.

 

“I know I’ve told you that I think marriage is misogynistic and archaic, and I don’t want to enable it, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Josie. And this isn’t me giving into the heteropatriarchy, this is me queering an institution with a history of being blatantly oppressive against women. This is me trying to change the future. So if putting a ring on you, having a wedding, and taking your last name is a win for feminism, then who am I to deny it?”

 

“Penelope, that was probably the worst proposal I’ve ever heard.”

 

Josie’s crying anyway, laughter bubbling out of her lips. Penelope presses their foreheads together, brushes her tears away.

 

“ _Damn_ , Jo, how many proposals have you heard before mine? How many people do I need to beat up?”

 

“Just shut up and kiss me, Pen.”

 

She obliges, resting the velvet box on the counter. Their lips meet, breathes mingle, and this is all Penelope could ever ask for.

 

When they break apart, Penelope grins. “So is that a yes?”

 

“Depends on how big the rock is.”

 

Josie is obviously joking, but Penelope’s nerves run rampant anyway. “Um, about that-”

 

Penelope slips the pink band on Josie’s finger, and Josie just stares at it.

 

“Do you remember that shell I gave you all those years ago? The one from the Friend Zone?”

 

Josie squints at the rings. “The one I conveniently lost last month? Is this-?”

 

Penelope nods, “Your ring is made out of-”

 

“How did you-”

 

“Do you like it?”

 

“I love it.”

 

“I love you.”

 

Josie grins. “No shit, Penelope. I mean, you did kind of just ask me to marry you.”

 

Penelope runs her hand up Josie’s arms, tangles her fingers in her hair.

 

“Well, this is awkward, Jo. You know I only asked you to marry me for the homomatriarchy, right?”

 

Josie’s head tilts forward and Penelope meets her halfway.

 

“Right,” Josie’s eyelashes flutter between kisses. “For feminism.”

 

Penelope hums.

 

“For feminism.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
>  
> 
> i would like to thank: my professors, for not overloading me w coursework just yet :') and you!! for reading!!!!
> 
> anyway! this is the end for real this time lol
> 
> hope you enjoyed it !! drop a comment if you want to, no pressure ((//pressure\\\\)) (im kidding this is a joke, please don't feel obligated to feed my ego)
> 
> until next time, find me on twitter @ sataninacape !


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